The Hunt for H.G. Growmore

“THIS IS AWFUL,” muttered Isabella in a low, wobbly voice. Behind her on the only bed in the room, Kay did not react. The half-length mirror in front of Isabella showed him clearly, lying on her pillows, absentmindedly rubbing his upper lip with a finger. His eyes did not leave the page facing him; a funny-looking picture of some sort of aliens was on the book cover. Aliens. Humph! 

“It’s really, really dreadful,” she added hopefully, sneaking a look at him over one shoulder. Kay seemed carved from stone. Even his eyes didn’t blink now. What on earth was so fascinating about visitors from another world? What about people from this planet? Like, his kid sister, for instance. 

“It’s terrible!” Isabella yelled, smacking a palm on the mirror for good measure, making Kay jump two feet off the bed. The book fell from his hands. He gaped at Isabella in astonishment, quite speechless. There, much better, Isabella started to smile, then caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. The smile vanished like her pocket money halfway through the month. 

“I don’t believe this! Just unthinkable!” she moaned, staring with wide eyes at her reflection in the mirror. The Image that stared back, eyes alarmed, long wispy hair all awry, was that of a pubescent female, skin like the sunset of a day spent on the beach, much too tall for her age, with a perky, slightly upturned nose adorning a decidedly pretty face. 

Mummy said Isabella’s nose was her most visible facial feature; “walking nose first,” she termed it, shaking her head with indulgent pride. Teacher Ngozi at school wasn’t such a fan, though. She opined, “that Bella in JSS 3 … that nose of hers looks like it always wants to tell everyone what to do- and how to do it too!” 

Right at the moment, however, Isabella’s nose was the last thing on her mind. She really couldn’t bear it. It was a totally awful, awful thing to be happening! And what could she do? 

The funny thing was, this was absolutely the worst day to feel awful about anything. To start with, outside, the July sun blazed happily on a world filled with singing birds and happy, playing children. 

Up and down the street in this residential Estate in Kaduna City, one could almost touch the palpable euphoria in the air. And with reason too. This was the first day of the long holidays, “the long vac” as school kids all over the country called it. They were the height of every Nigerian Kid’s year, looked forward to with ever-mounting excitement as they slowly approached. 

7 glorious school-free weeks! With absolutely nothing- or everything to do, depending on one’s personal energy level. The air fairly hummed with plans being made, even if they were just thoughts of lazing around the house, bedroom, beach, garden, poolside, or stream, watching tktoks, glued in front of a tv screen, with a fav book or movie, or absolutely nothing at all. Whatever chilled your ice cream. Kids everywhere were in holiday heaven. 

However, Isabella was not thinking about the holidays either. She gasped as she ran a long comb through her hair once more. Several fine strands came away with the comb. Others floated softly to the floor. Now she groaned, staggering back to flop into a pretty daffodil-covered armchair by the window. 

The bedroom was Barbie recommended pink, violet, and white. Pictures of animated heroines, ballet dancers, singers, and actresses decorated the walls. Soft toys and sundry personal knick-knacks cluttered the modestly sized room.  

The July breeze wafted softly in, blowing hair across Isabella’s eyes. Impatiently, she secured the loose hair with a yellow rubber band. More strands of hair came loose in her hand. She groaned again – longer this time. 

“It can’t, can’t, can’t be happening!” she whimpered, “Isabella, diva of the twenty twenties, going … I can hardly even say it… b-bald! Dreadful!” 

“I did warn you.” Kay had recovered and now lay sprawled on his belly on the small pink bed across the room. He bore a noticeable resemblance to the distraught Isabella. The book was back in his hand, and he wore an orange T-Shirt which said in big white letters: “I AM PRETTY NICE, BUT YOU WILL NEVER PROVE IT.” 

As almost always, Kay now had a dreamy look on his face and a wistful half-smile, which hinted that he was keeping a precious secret from the world. Which he usually was especially from the grownups of that world; teachers and parents particularly. Minus Mum, though. Kay wouldn’t admit it to save his life, but his gentle, understanding mother was tops in his list of real-life heroes. 

Kay was just a year older than his sister, but was convinced one of his life’s missions was her thorough, if unconventional, education. 

“I told you a hundred times if I told you once…’ 

Kay puffed his chest up, cleared his throat, and assumed a gruff headmaster tone: “‘Bella, don’t catch up your hair in a chignon’.” 

The act over, Kay became his old self again. He had a pleased “Boy, did I kill that,” look on his clear face. He smiled smugly and shrugged, “But do you ever listen?” 

“What’s that?” 

“What’s what?” 

“What you said. Chi- something. I wasn’t to catch my hair in it.” 

Kay smirked. “Chignon. With a silent g. It’s a bun of hair.” 

“A bun made from hair?” 

“Noo. A bun of hair. You know when you sweep your hair back and knot it at the nape of your neck. Like you are doing right now. That’s a chignon.” 

“You always do that,” sulked Isabella. 

“Do- what?” 

“You always throw long, meaningless, unknown words at me so that I’ll ask their meanings and make you feel clever.” 

Kay raised a dramatic hand. Now he was Professor Tom Foolery in his current favorite TV show, Tom Foolery’s house. 

“Now just a wee second, me dear girl, how are they possibly meaningless if one may ask their meanings, eh?” He adjusted a make-believe monocle and smoothed a make-believe mustache. 

Pam just glared. “That’s quite the most idiotic show on TV now, you know. Well, just look at it: He’s a professor … and he’s a fool? Think about that for a moment, prof.” 

Kay scratched his head, now very much like Sponge Bob, momentarily at a loss for good words. Kay was a movie buff of buffs. Nearly his whole life philosophy was a mish-mash of several films and Television shows. 

“Anyway, what has tying one’s hair in a chi-whatever! - got to do with anything?” Isabella asked impatiently. 

Kay brightened, back on firmer footing. It was so disconcerting to be upstaged by his 12-year-old younger sister. Lately, it had been happening too frequently for a certain level of ego comfort. He made a mental note to double- no triple, his daily vitamin intake. Should he add five more pushups to that, also? 

In his head, he began to count, as he imaginarily strained his widely celebrated muscles, hardly sweating: 26, 27, 34, 39…! Photographers and video bloggers stood to one side, silent in admiration, unobtrusively recording everything with the latest Devices, making sure not to disturb his concentration… 40, 65, 84! 

Then he caught Isabella’s narrowed eyes. Kay came back to earth with an almost audible thump. Time to instruct the young un, he surmised. He started to go into his best Prof Tom Foolery poise, then hurriedly let it slide into a casual Chris Hemsworth Lounge. One never went wrong with cool Chris. Wasn’t Thor Ragnarok proof enough? 

“Well, now, lassy,’ he drawled, “On occasion, you do that daily, see, you create continuous tension in your hair, and pretty soon, those hairs begin to separate from their wee follicles.” 

Isabella glared at him. 

“I’m not going to ask what that means, so you’d better tell me- swiftly!” Kay grinned unrepentantly. 

“A follicle is the root of individual hair strands. I thought you do Biology in school.” 

“We haven’t done the skin.” Isabella grumbled peevishly, “Anyway, back to my problem. I won’t catch my hair in a… a… a bun again. But now what is to be done? I can’t go bald at twelve! I won’t! Do something!” 

Kay jumped off the bed. An extremely intelligent boy, his Sunday school teacher said Kay’s greatest failing was his absolute refusal to do anything above the barest minimum necessary. However, for his little sister, he made quite an effort from time to time. 

Kay stood undecided for a heartbeat, then dived on Isabella with a Zulu-Warrior-style whoop. He darted a hand to her hair and yanked off the rubber band that held her hair together. The band snapped with a loud bang. 

“Ouch’, yelped Bella, “What on earth did you do that for? That hurt!” Kay stared. “D-d-duh? Trying to save your hairline, recollect? 

“Didn’t need to half-kill me first,” Isabella grumbled, rubbing the spot furiously, releasing a shower of soft hair. She looked crossly at Kay. “Now see what you’ve made me do.” 

Kay put on a thoughtful expression. 

“Hmmn. Tricky problem, that. Well, when in doubt, see big sister wise. Come on, let’s talk to Jenny.” 

The two children exited Isabella’s bedroom. 

The house was fairly large, the standard 4-bedroom quarters for a senior lecturer at the State University. The two made their way through silent corridors; Kay, lingering around the kitchen with its persuasive aromas until he was chased out by Mama, their in-house cook cum housekeeper, and then past the dining area to the living room.

Their big sister, Jennifer, was there with a friend, Tinu, both absorbed in a movie on the large flat TV mounted on one wall. Both girls were sixteen. 

“Hi, Jenny, hi Tinu.” Kay greeted, throwing himself on a chair. Kay never actually did anything simply. He wolfed down food. Gulped his drinks. His mother said he appeared to be constantly late for something. This with a very weary shake of her head. 

Jennifer picked up the remote control and changed the channel on the TV. “Hey!’ Kay protested, ‘that looked awesome.” 

Jennifer looked at him with all the superiority of her three extra years. “It is … very;” Kay rubbed his hands, “All right! Hit that button again, if you will, big Sis!”

Jennifer smiled like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland, “It’s also PG 16, lil bro, so ask me again in about say … oh, three years, right?” 

Jennifer and Tinu giggled. Kay scowled into his chin. “Girls,” he muttered to himself. When he became head of the Global Intergalactic force … A vision of himself in a shiny red space suit swam across Kay’s eyes. Girls in wayyy less glamorous suits crowded around him, attending to his every command. Jenny and Tinu stood on the fringes of the crowd, waving at him, but he didn’t even deign to look at them. 

Isabella muttered a worried hello and slumped morosely on the settee. Jennifer glanced at Isabella. 

“Hey, Bellyho, not looking cheery at all. What’s up?” 

Kay beamed down from the Intergalactic Space Station with a reluctant sigh. 

“She’s kind of going bald, and it’s really bugging her,” Kay stated matter-of-factly, “That’s why we’ve come. Need an ASAP solution to this one.” 

Jennifer and Tinu giggled, saw Isabella’s glare, and frowned gloomily. “Going bald at twelve,” Jennifer observed, “Not good, nope, not so cool at all.” Bella looked from one to the other. “And?” 

“I read about a friend of mine on Facebook who had the same problem two years ago,” Tinu started, “But she was seventeen at the time.” 

Bella perked up. “Seventeen is close enough. How did she fix it?” 

Tinu looked uncomfortable, “Err, she –er- basically just found a way around.” 

“Let me guess,” Kay said, “Cyborg Alter Ego. Now people don’t know it’s not really her. Looks like her, talks like her, walks like-” 

“Kay!” Bella frowned fiercely. She turned to Tinu, all attention, “Yes, Tinu? What did she do?” 

Tinu didn’t look so happy. “Hmnn, okay, first she kind of looked at her options. Be bald and look, well, bald; or be bald and look truly dope. Anyway, she lives in England, so she kind of got into rock n’ roll, heavy metal stuff. Not that she liked it, but she then had a cool excuse for shaving off all of her hair. She goes around bare as an egg now. And she’s cool too.” 

Bella stared at Tinu open-mouthed. She touched her hair unconsciously, imagining it all shaved off. 

“I think you would also have to paint half of your skull bright green and the other half … orange,” Tinu finished apologetically. 

Bella shuddered convulsively. Kay flashed a crafty grin. Jennifer looked at Tinu and wiggled her left eyebrow, which in girl-speak meant: Hey! Not helping! Tinu shrugged and wiggled her right eyebrow: Free me! I tried! Jennifer sighed. She knew what was coming next. 

From the corner of one eye, she saw Kay glance at the boring TV screen. He then craned his neck to better see the remote control nestled against Jennifer’s right leg. Kay tensed, getting ready to spring. Jennifer casually picked up the remote and then placed it on the other side of the chair, well out of Kay’s reach. Kay deflated like a bad tire. Jennifer shook her head at him, smiling sweetly. Gotcha, lil bro! Kay began to scowl grumpily, then he laughed out loud instead. He was actually a merry boy who could take it as well as dish it out. And Jenny’s move had been pure magic. 

Bella turned to Jennifer. She tried to smile bravely at her older sister but failed. Her voice when she spoke was very tiny. 

“What do I do, Jen? You are absolutely my last hope.” 

“Hi, Lord Jesus,” Kay grinned at Jenny, “So pleased to finally meet you. And you a girl too! Wow! What’s your App called? Same J, different face?” 

“Will you stop interrupting? This is serious!” yelled Bella, finally exasperated.

Jenny grimaced and looked at Isabella. 

“Can’t say I’ve come across such a –er- unique problem before. Not impossible, of course … just … really different. I’ve read about and seen bearded women, but bald ones and at twelve too…” she shrugged helplessly. 

A knock sounded on the door. It opened, and Kay’s friends, Tekoa and Hammed, walked in. Isabella watched in frustrated impatience as the two visitors and her brother went through the silly ritualistic palm-slapping that passed for young male mutual bonding. 

“Hi everybody,” Hammed finally said. He was a cheerful boy of Kay’s age, a smile constantly on his aquiline face. He and Kay made a perfect team for many infamous pranks at school. “What’s the conference for?” 

“Finally, someone notices,” muttered Bella darkly. 

“Bella’s going bald,” Jenny explained. Bella shot her a glare. Jenny raised a hand of peace with a smile. “We are trying to find a solution.” 

Tekoa and Hammed began to laugh; they coughed and hiccupped to halt mid-spring when Bella shot a really grim look their way. 

“Er … peculiar … er, problem.” Hammed offered. He nudged Tekoa to supply his bit. 

“Really … er, uhh, umm… peculiar…” Tekoa ended lamely. He was the pacifier of the group of friends. He was more round than straight with an almost permanent look of bewilderedness on his chubby face. 

“And the award for telling us what we already know -twice- goes to…” Isabella’s gaze dripped with scorn. The two hung their heads, and then Hammed’s lips trembled in the beginnings of a smile, maybe even a laugh. Tekoa jumped in hastily. 

“A friend of my uncle’s had a problem with his hair once,” Tekoa began, “It was his beard, it wouldn’t grow, and his friends drove him crazy with jibes about him being too young to trip with them. He tried lots of things to get a beard without success until someone told him about mentholated spirit.” 

“And it worked?” Kay leaned forward eagerly. 

“Well, sort of…” 

“What happened?” Bella asked, voice hushed. 

“Well, three really long hairs grew slowly out of his chin, and kept growing… and growing…” 

“Just the three?” Asked Jenny. 

“One, two, three … that was it. Anyway, afterward, his friends almost teased him to death. So he plucked them off. His chin’s not exactly been too busy ever since.” 

“Thanks a lot. Heap big help you are.” Bella slid deeper into the settee and her depression. The room stayed silent for a while, her despondency affecting everyone. Suddenly, Jenny jerked upright. 

“Okay, everyone. Chin up and phones out. Let’s browse this one out.”

Everyone visibly cheered up at the news. Phones came out of pockets. Some old, some new. Some large, others small. Tinu took a shiny new tablet from her bag. Kay whistled and held out both hands. 

“Come to Papa, sweet thing! Let me show you the world. Or at least the World Wide Web.” 

Tinu laughed, “No can do, Kay. My grandma sent this for my birthday last week. The default setting is still ‘See, don’t Touch’.” She kissed the device with a loud smack. 

Jennifer was swiping swiftly on her phone screen. “Okay, Google, ChatGPT, Facebook, Wikipedia, Wikihow, Naijathread; if it’s online, you can go there. Let’s make my baby sister happy, people. You see anything helpful, you yell snap. ” 

Everyone peered at their screens. Fingers flew over keypads, real and virtual. 

“Snap!” went Tekoa almost immediately. Heads swiveled to him. “Facebook,” he continued, “A group for bald people. Called … let us see, oh, Bald and Hairpful … I think they mean hopeful.” 

“What do they do?” Jennifer asked. 

“Huh?” Tekoa responded. 

Tinu took up the inquiry, “What’s their gig? Are they about looking for a cure, offering advice, that kind of thing?” 

Tekoa looked a little confused, “I think they are just people being bald together on FB.” 

Jennifer smiled at him, “Good try, Tekoa, but I think we are looking for more practical solutions, not … well, you know.” 

“Hairpful folks,” Bella put in icily, “And just in case you missed it, I am not bald –yet.” 

Tekoa nodded, head way down. “Got it.” 

“Snap! Wikipedia! Something about Gene therapy.” 

“Is it any good?” 

“Very good! Err … If you’re a millionaire … in the USA. It costs about a million US dollars.” 

Everyone sighed, “Guess we’ll be saving our Nairas then.” 

“Snap! Some blog. Hair Cloning. This is it. Yes, yes.” 

“Let’s hear more then!” 

“Weelll, emm…” 

“Come on, we are waiting.” 

“Well, it is kind of … still being researched. They hope they can have it ready in five years.” 

“Next!” 

“Snap! McDonald's French Fries cure baldness.” 

“What?” 

“Hee hee. Believe it or don’t.” 

“Well, I don’t. Tell us more.” 

“Okay, here goes. Turns out this chemical called … dimethylpolysiloxane - found in the oil of McDonald's French Fries can really cure baldness… ” 

“Really? Go on!” 

“Ohh, it appears this dimethylpolysiloxane can also be found in sunscreen and …er nail polish… ” 

“Nail po …? Just finish already!” 

“Yeah, and well, so far it’s been tried only on rats. The rats did grow some fur, though. Not much, but every little bit counts, eh?” 

“I have one response to that: RATS!” 

“Not to mention, we’ll have to go to Morocco to get the fries. No McDonald's in good ol’ Naija yet, homeboy.” 

“Didn’t I already say Rats?” 

“Snap! Chinese herbal treatment for hair loss.” 

“Snap! Hair supplements and vitamins.” 

“Snap! Snap! Snap! Oh, just forget it!” 

One after the other, the young people in the room quit the browsers on their phones and devices. Soon, no one at all was still looking for a solution online. Jennifer was the last to give up. Everyone was strangely silent. Jennifer looked at Bella. 

“I am truly sorry, Bella, but there doesn’t seem to be a cure for baldness just now.” 

Bella looked at Jennifer, then around at the others. She stood up. In a shaky voice, she said, “Thank you, everyone.” She tried to add something else, but she seemed to choke. She turned and ran from the room. All the kids in the room looked down at their laps. Kay heaved a sad sigh. Even he knew when not to make a wisecrack.

THE DINING Room of the Ohieris was lit with the soft glow of overhead chandeliers. Dinner was an important daily family obligation in this home. Everyone usually pitched in to lay the table and bring in the food. This night, Ubi was home for a few days. He was the eldest of the Ohieri siblings at 18. The magic year, as far as Kay was concerned. Ubi was visiting from his University some forty kilometers away. 

Mrs. Ohieris smiled at Ubi. 

“Will you say prayers, please, dear?” 

“No wahala, Mum. Eyes shut and hands clasped piously in front of you, everyone, please.” 

Kay grinned. Many of his friends had brothers who became unbearably stuffy once they got into University but Ubi was still all right. Ubi cleared his throat as everyone shut their eyes and clasped their hands together. Their Mum was already regretting asking him. 

“Dear LORD. This is really groovy food, and we, one and all, thank YOU. Amen.” Everyone echoed the Amen. Their mother looked in some surprise at Ubi. 

“That was quite good, Ubi. Short … but okay. Most unusual. University is maturing you, it seems.” 

“I am saving the good stuff for Christmas, Mum,” Ubi said with a laugh. He raised his hand for a high-five with Kay. Their mother looked steadily at her laughing boys. She did hope Kay would settle down soon, like Ubi appeared to have done. Many gray strands in her hair now, she knew, were because of some legendary past shenanigans by her firstborn. 

Then she noticed Jennifer on her phone at dinner- again. She remembered with nostalgia her own growing-up days. And her dearest Mother thought she was a handful? 

“Jennifer-” 

“Just a smiley to go, Mum … there! What’s for dinner?” Jenny looked up with a laugh, putting away her phone. She noticed Bella was chin in hand, pushing her food in white circles of mayonnaise across her plate. 

“Hey, Bellyho, you still need to eat, you know.” 

Mum looked at Bella. “What is the matter, dear?” 

Bella muttered something under her breath. Dad, who was nearest to her, leaned closer. 

“What? I couldn’t make it out. Something about being bad? Did you do something your mum and I should know about?” he frowned. 

Bella’s head jerked up, and she glared at her father. “Not bad, Dad, bald! B-A-L-D! I am going bald, and I am only twelve. And you and Mum would notice if you paid more attention to me!” 

Dinner stopped. Mum stared in dismay at Bella. 

“Why, sweetheart, of course, I have noticed you are losing some hair at your front, but I would hardly call that going bald.” 

“Nothing wrong with baldness,” Dad muttered, “In fact adds some character to a man’s visage, you know. Better than these so-called punk haircuts everywhere. Runs in my family, so that’s where you get it from naturally.” 

Bella stared aghast at Dad, “Baldness runs in your family?” She was greatly shaken. “And you tell me now, Daddy?” 

Mum smiled in amusement, “Well, when should your father have told you, Isabella?” 

“Before now!” Yelled Bella, “Maybe before I was born. He didn’t give me a choice!” 

Mum paused, knife close to her mouth. Her eyebrows were raised, “You mean GOD? Bella pointed a shaky spoon at her Dad. ”I mean him. So I could maybe choose another-” 

“Isabella,” Mum said in her really quiet voice. Bella stopped abruptly in mid-rant. Everyone knew Mum only used that tone when she was really upset. Mum looked at Bella steadily. 

“I know you feel this is bad, but it’s really not that serious. Moreover, lots of teenage girls experience some hair loss when they are growing up. It’s quite normal, actually.” 

“I am not a teenager, Mum,” cried Bella, close to tears, “I am twelve, and I am going baldddd! Is this normal?” 

Bella shook her head angrily like a great shaggy sheepdog. Hair flew all over the table, into the fish stew, and onto everybody’s plates. Kay stared in open-mouthed astonishment. This was a super show! Some popcorn and Bella could charge for tickets. He would be tickets collector, of course. 

Mum looked at the extra-long strand of hair on her rice. She quietly placed her napkin on the table. She looked calmly at Bella. Bella was staring in shock at everyone’s ruined dinner. 

“I am so sorry, Mum,” she whispered in a very small voice, truly mortified now. She lowered her head. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. Dad sighed and put down his fork. He hated tears, especially Bella’s tears, the most. He reached over and patted Bella’s head gently.

“Okay, that’s quite enough, Onyinyechi,” he said gruffly, using his special name for her. 

Bella sniffed a little and peeked at her Mum. There was a forgiving look on her Mum’s face. Which meant Bella wasn’t in big trouble. She suspected her chores would double the next morning, but that was totally all right. She would rather do ten million additional chores than fight with her Mum. 

“I am really sorry, everyone,” Bella said, almost cheerfully. She looked at her father, ”And of course, I love being in your family, Daddy.” 

Dad winked at her, smiling. Ubi pushed away his plate, “I had fish yesterday anyway.” 

Jennifer rose. “I’ll see if I can whip up something from yesterday’s leftovers.” She smiled at Bella and disappeared towards the kitchen. Mum looked gravely at Bella. 

“Now, I am all ears, young Lady. What do we do about this bad hair day? Okay, looks more like several days…” 

“Zilch, according to Google,” Kay replied gloomily. 

Bella looked at him sourly, “Zeech?” Kay groaned, “You were there too, Bella. What did we get? Zilllch. Zero.” He looked at his Mum, “And we were online for hours all day.” 

“And found nothing to help?” This was Dad. Dad was a Pathologist and Microbiologist and conducted countless experiments every year. Bella still couldn’t understand what he did, despite Kay’s several gesticulations-assisted explanations.

“Impossible. I do 90% of my research on the Internet.” Dad went on, “Everything is on the web. And, with AI these days, the net simply never fails.”  

“God never fails, dearest.” Mum smiled at Dad, “Wives and Mums too, I suspect. The Internet? You will be amazed to know how often it does come up short. It’s far easier to find something on Microbiology online,” Mum continued, “than simple everyday things like say an old Efik recipe your mother taught you and you now want to pass on to your daughters. I have tried dozens of times.” 

Mum shook her head, “The Internet looks at some things as more important than others. And the less important are usually not so well represented.” She looked at Bella, “Have you tried to look for something offline, dear?” 

“Offline?” echoed Bella. “What’s that?” 

“The world outside the Internet, Bella.” Her mother laughed, “People, books, even television, and radio. Everyone is so Internet-absorbed these days, we forget there are other sources of information.” She looked at her family quietly, “Which, by the way, are dying rapidly because of so much general neglect.” 

Mum gazed afar off whimsically, toying with the rim of her water glass, lost in thought. Kay squirmed uncomfortably. He was always a little bothered when his Mum looked sad. She was a Secondary School teacher at the government girls’ college in town and was often canvassing for some improvement or the other. One holiday, she had made him walk all week with his T-Shirt neatly tucked in. All because she had seen a trending Nigerian Hip-Hop music video. 

“One thing I can think of, though,” Mum went on, smiling again, “is the library.”

“The Library? School is closed for the holidays, Mum.” Kay said. 

“I know that, dear. I meant the large state Library up in town. It’s got thousands of pages of reading material. There’s bound to be a helpful book or magazine or something there.” 

Bella sat up. “Good, great, awesome idea!” 

“It’s unfortunate that your Dad and I have to take Jennifer to her new school day after tomorrow. I would have liked to come with you. But you can start on your own, and I’ll join you when we return.” She smiled at them. 

Kay scraped his chair back, “I’ll get our shoes and some money.” 

Their mother laughed, “I think you two had better give it a few more hours.” “Huh?” Bella mumbled. Her Mum pointed at the open window. 

“It’s still night, sweetheart. I know that usually doesn’t stop you both,” Mum shook her head ruefully, “but I am presuming the Library staff is also probably eating dinner at home with their families right now.” 

Bella silently slapped her forehead. Kay stared dumbly at the window as if he had never seen night before. Everyone had a good laugh. 

The next day by noon, Bella, Kay, Hammed, and Tekoa were in a yellow and green taxi speeding towards the State library in Bida Road. Bella wore a bright-colored cap to hide her hairline. About them, Kaduna City was busily colorful as usual. Painted career girls, saucy students, determined soldiers, flamboyant salespeople, and energetic traffic policemen who never seemed to make a mistake with their flying hands encased in white gloves. 

The taxi disgorged the four children before the white gates of the library and crawled away. 

They trooped into the old building. It was sadly obvious that not many people came there anymore. The Library had a hushed look about it, as if it were holding its breath as it waited for its interior to be filled with the reading public once again. The Reception Desk was manned by a single, bespectacled lady. She answered their greetings with a bright smile and a nod. 

“We’d like to know where we can get books about hair, please,” Kay said politely. “What kind of hair?” replied the Receptionist. 

“Are there more than one kind of hair?” Tekoa asked, eyes round. 

“Of course! Lots! There’s hare, a fast-running, long-eared mammal that resembles a large rabbit, having very long hind legs and typically found in grassland or open woodland; there’s hair, any of the fine thread-like strands growing from the skin of humans, mammals, and some other animals, made from dead cells which serve as covering for skin; there’s heir, also pronounced air, a person legally entitled to the property or rank of another on that person's death.” She waved her hands abstractly, “lots and lots more! Which are you interested in?” 

The children all blinked, as impressed as they were surprised. Hammed leaned forward carefully, “Er, hair: any of the fine thread-like strands growing from the skin of humans, mammals, and some other animals, made from dead cells which serve as covering for skin.” 

“Capital!” She beamed at Hammed. “Good! All right, what do we have here …” 

She consulted an ancient computer monitor, which whined and groaned before her. “Here it is; Hair: any of the fine thread-like strands growing from the skin of humans, mammals, and some other animals, made from dead cells which serve as covering for skin. Upstairs, shelves twenty-two and twenty-three.” 

“Thank you so much,” Kay said. 

“Have a fun read!” 

They climbed the concrete and metal stairs and made for the advised shelves through the few bowed heads and hunched shoulders. The room was only about a quarter full, mostly older-looking men and women. The four youngsters separated, descending excitedly on the neat rows of books, and books, and books. 

“All these books are about just hair?” breathed Bella. 

“Here’s one that sounds interesting,” Kay whispered. 

“What does it say?’ Bella asked in a return whisper. 

“Grow exotic hair, by Shashi Singh. Uhmm, Indian, I think.” 

“No thanks. I’ve seen Medusa’s hair in that old movie, ‘Clash of the Titans.’ I don’t want any living thing growing out of my head.” 

“I’ve got one that is just spot on,” Hammed walked over, “How to prevent baldness-” 

“All right!” Bella enthused, “Go on!” 

“For middle-aged men.” 

Bella scowled. Hammed shrugged. 

“You can’t miss with this!” Tekoa waved a blue book excitedly, “The ABC of long, supple, full, strong hair!” 

Bella’s gaze was full of suspicion. “For Gorillas?” 

Tekoa sighed like a martyr. “For adolescent girls. Do I go on?”

“Please do,” Bella murmured. 

Tekoa cleared his throat, “Our hair is one of GOD’s most precious gifts to us, and is a most beautiful and treasured asset. Extreme care must be taken in the care of it, for the tiniest mistake can result in a catastrophe that neither this Author nor anyone else can correct…” 

Bella sighed as she watched Tekoa silently return the book to its shelf. They kept on with the search for another hour. However, nothing else proved interesting. All the books on hair were either too impractical or were not written for young girls. It was a most dispirited group that walked back downstairs. The friendly Receptionist smiled when she saw them. 

“Hi, there. Did you have a good read?” 

“Yes, thank you, Ma,” Hammed replied, “I can’t say we found what we are after, sadly.” 

“Oh?” She raised a penciled eyebrow, “How unfortunate. Anyway, I am sure you young things will be hitting the Internet soon enough. Google. You know what? I would change my job here with one at Google in a flash, you know. Google knows everything, doesn’t it?” 

“Not this time, it doesn’t,” Bella disagreed, “Been there and done that. Google came up zeros.” 

“How peculiar,” the Receptionist frowned, “most unlike Google.” 

Kay shrugged dispiritedly, “Well, thank you for all your help.” 

The Lady smiled at him, “I am supposed to say, ‘thanks, do call again, but I don’t suppose there’s much of a chance of that, eh?” 

“That’s a really big N and a very little o,” Kay replied with a grin. The Receptionist laughed. Bella turned her back on the desk and wandered out of the reception area to just outside the entrance. She paused for a while, waiting for the others to catch up. 

She noticed an elderly cleaning lady down the driveway of the library, struggling to lift a large dustpan on her head. Bella watched for a few seconds and then concluded the woman would never be able to lift the pan to her head without some assistance. She hurried over. 

“Good afternoon, Mama,” Bella greeted the woman, “Do you need some help with that?” 

The old woman looked at Bella suspiciously. She looked like a Hausa lady of 70 years or thereabouts. Her face was a spiderweb of deeply etched lines on her very dark face. Bella wondered why such an old woman was still working. Nigerian families usually took care of their elderly. She tried to avoid looking into the queerly sharp eyes of the woman. 

When the woman didn’t immediately respond, Bella repeated the question, adding a hand gesture to indicate the dustpan. The old woman probably didn’t speak English. She was about to repeat it all when the woman abruptly nodded. 

“Yes, you may help if you like.”

Bella was astonished at the clear voice and the precise diction. The old woman sounded like an English professor. The woman looked at Bella with an amused glint in her keen dark eyes. 

“Surprised to hear an old Hausa Lady speak good English?” she asked Bella. 

Bella averted her eyes in embarrassment, stammering a half-formed denial. The woman waved it away. 

“I used to be the chief Librarian here. 35 years I worked inside that building.” She pointed at the library with her sharp chin. “Now I am retired, but the Library let me keep my old quarters. There is a new modern building further inside the compound for the current Chief.” 

“Wow,” Bella said with a laugh, “I did wonder. But wouldn’t you rather stay with your family?” 

A wistful look covered the woman’s eyes, making them softer. 

“My husband died almost fifteen years ago. And we never had children. You know what they say when a woman has no children, I am sure.” She looked at Bella piercingly. The eyes were now as hard and sharp as before. Bella was startled at the hurt and anger in them. She shook her head quickly. 

“No, not really.”  

“Well, they say … what’s your name, girl?” she asked impatiently. 

“Isabella. But everyone calls me Bella most times.”

“I certainly won’t; what’s the point of having such a pretty name and throwing half of it away. The prettiest half too, I dare add. If it was good enough for the Queen of Spain, it’s good enough for me. Isabella is just fine.” 

Bella laughed. What a strange old lady. She did say the oddest things. “You still haven’t told me what they say,” she reminded the woman. The old woman’s eyes grew angry again. Her voice was much harsher when she spoke. 

“They call you a witch, Isabella. They say you kept away your children by sorcery, and your husband probably died because you traded in his life to make yours longer. So now, I live alone.” 

She stared at Bella as she finished. Bella frowned indignantly. 

“Why would anyone say such a horrible, wicked thing? It’s not kind at all.” 

The woman considered Bella for a moment. Something in the little girl must have convinced her of Bella’s earnestness because the soft look stole over her eyes again. The old woman nodded brusquely. 

“I guess the world has become very adept at being unkind.” She abruptly gestured at the dustpan filled with rubbish and dry leaves. “Okay, help.” 

“Oh, yes, of course. I completely forgot that.”

Bella bent to lift the pan. The old woman did the same. When the old woman would have directed the full pan to her head, Bella reversed it onto her own head. She smiled at the startled woman. 

“I guess I am too young to be your daughter, Mama, but for five minutes I can be your granddaughter.” 

The old woman stared at Bella in some surprise. Bella could see the beginnings of tears in the no-longer-hard eyes. The woman smiled, which transformed all the deep wrinkles on her face into happy, laugh lines. She touched Bella’s hand. 

“GOD bless you, Granddaughter. The compost heap is this way … and by the way, I am Kanuri, not Hausa. There’s a world of difference. People are always too impatient to appreciate that.” 

The old Kanuri Lady led Bella back towards the entrance of the library. Kay came out of the entrance just as they got there. He gaped in shock to see Bella following an old woman, carrying a dirty dustpan on her head. Kay rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing properly. Bella saw him and chuckled. Kay took two quick steps to her. 

“What’s happening?” He whispered, looking in trepidation at the old woman’s back a few feet ahead. “Why are you carrying refuse and following an old woman that looks like a-” 

“Don’t you dare!” Bella’s eyes flashed dangerously. “I am only helping carry some stuff. The pan was too heavy for her. ” 

The old woman glanced back, saw Kay, and some of the hardness crept back into her eyes. She looked away and kept walking.

Kay whispered on, “What absolutely marble-like eyes. I am coming along.” 

“You would have those kinds of eyes too if people were always mean to you,” Bella whispered back. She shrugged, “Where are the others?” 

“Still with the Receptionist. She’s telling them all sorts of things. She is totally fun.” 

They got to the compost heap. The old woman looked at Bella and gestured at the heap, her eyes glancing at Kay in a not-too-friendly manner. Bella upended the contents of the pan on the heap. She placed the empty pan on the ground and rubbed her neck. 

“Phew! That’s a relief.” 

“Thank you, Isabella,” said the woman curtly. Kay’s eyes widened at the old woman’s use of Bella’s name. The old woman noticed but chose to ignore Kay. She picked up the empty pan and began to turn away. Bella hesitated, then stepped forward. 

“Err … Mama,” 

The woman turned. 

“Yes, Isabella?” 

“I was wondering. Actually, I came to the library with my brother…” she indicated Kay. The woman’s eyes darted to Kay and darted back. There was a small let-up in the hardness of her eyes. Encouraged, Bella plowed on, “err, and some friends in search of something … some information. We weren’t very successful.” 

The old woman stayed silent, watching Bella. Occasionally, her eyes rested briefly on Kay. Kay’s fingers itched to cross themselves. He held them still with an effort. 

Bella continued, “I thought since you were the chief librarian for so long, you probably know those shelves better than anyone. Perhaps you could tell me where to find what I am looking for.” 

The old woman smiled faintly.

“And what would that be, young Isabella?” 

“A cure for baldness,” Kay interjected.

The old woman barely looked at Kay. Her eyes, gazing at Isabella, had a questioning look. Bella looked down forlornly.

“It’s true. I seem to be growing bald. All my front hair is almost gone.” She took off her cap to show the old woman. The latter came closer to gaze at the tufts of hair along Bella’s hairline. The old woman had a thoughtful look in her eyes. 

“There’s no real cure for baldness.” 

“So Google says,” Bella sighed. 

The old woman snorted, “Google! What people don’t understand is that you cannot cram several thousand years of human civilization into something less than twenty years old. Some things inevitably get lost.” Her eyes acquired a distant look. “Come with me, please.” 

She turned and headed down a narrow path bordered by a flowering hedge. Bella followed, as did Kay. The old woman looked back at Kay. She snorted once more. 

“I suppose any brother of Isabella’s is also welcome in my home.” 

Bella smiled. The old woman walked on. Bella and then Kay followed, and this time Kay did cross his fingers. 

THE OLD woman’s home was a small, neat affair, though very ancient in design. Books lined the walls and were carefully laid on floors and tables. Kay looked around with round eyes. 

“I have never seen so many books in one room before,” he declared. 

The old woman eyed him. “I suppose it would be too much to expect one of your generation to read anything other than those shocking vampire novels so popular now.” 

Kay bristled. Was she questioning his total passion for books? Why, his mother said Kay had been born with a book in each hand. Everyone knew he was aces at novels, comics, and even magazines. His eyes caught a number of past literary conquests of his among the books lying around. 

Kay pointed at a red, leather-bound volume of Silas Marner. “In the days when the spinning wheels hummed busily in the farmhouses-” he quoted, “and even great ladies, clothed in silk and thread-lace, had their toy spinning wheels of polished oak-” 

The woman looked faintly surprised. “Silas Marner. And not abridged either.” Her eyes narrowed contemplatively, “Go on.” She said. And so did Kay. Robinson Crusoe. Things Fall Apart. Lamb Tales from Shakespeare. To Kill a Mockingbird. Quote after quote fell from Kay’s lips. Kay could be very clever when he chose to be. Twenty minutes later, the old woman stood smiling even more at Kay than she had at Bella earlier. 

“What is your name, Isabella’s brother?”

“His name is Kay,” Bella offered, a little out of temper that Kay was apparently about to steal her new friend. Friend? Try new super granny from another mother- or great, grandmother. 

The old woman snorted, “No one goes to all the trouble of having a child and then calls him Kay. What is your name really?” 

“Kanu,” Kay said, then added belligerently, “But I like it when I am called Kay. It’s kind of way cooler.” 

The old woman smiled even more widely, “If you say so. Kay, it is then.” Bella’s mouth dropped open in astonishment. 

“Would you both like something to drink? I have some kunu and freshly made kuli kuli too if you care for that.” 

Both siblings nodded. She turned to go. Over her shoulder, she said: 

“Kay, since we are all friends now, and there’s still no witch in sight, I suppose it’s safe for you to uncross your fingers now. It’s a wonder you don’t have cramps already.” She went away, chuckling at hs astounded look. 

Ten minutes later, the two siblings, now joined by the others, were all sipping cold drinks of Kunu and munching crunchy Kuli Kuli, a local snack made from pounded groundnuts. Mama, as everyone called her now, was rummaging in a corner, a pair of ancient prescription glasses perched on the tip of her beak of a nose.

“At last,” she muttered. She turned around then, coming to sit close to Bella. In her hands was an old, thick notebook. It was not so much dusty as really worn. She looked up at Bella as she began to thumb through the notebook carefully, pursing her lips as she looked at the spidery writing inside. 

“I kept a kind of personal record of all the important books that came in while I was in charge. I seem to recollect one in particular that you may find helpful. Provided it’s still on the shelves, obviously.” 

For the next few minutes, the only sounds that could be heard were those of soft paper pages being turned and dwindling crunching. 

“Aha. Just like I remember.” Mama looked at Bella, “Go to shelf 54, row 3.” “What am I looking for?” Bella was mystified. 

“Oh, simple really: ‘What is what, and who is who in Nigeria’. 31st edition. I think you will find one entry most enlightening.” 

TEN MINUTES later, Kay was facing Bella with a large, leather-bound volume in his hands. They were back in the library. Nothing much seemed to have changed. Same elderly people reading quietly. 

“Is that it?” Bella asked without much enthusiasm. 

“I guess. The title is right anyway. ‘What is what, and who is who in Nigeria.’ It looks like a kind of old Encyclopedia Nigeria. Published 2005. It doesn’t look very promising. Maybe Mama’s memories are not as good as she thinks.” 

Bella nodded, uncertain. The book truly didn’t look that great up close. If the Internet couldn’t hack it, how could this old scroll? But then the Bible was old also, and people still read it all the time, didn’t they? 

“Reading it won’t further shorten my hair, I suppose,” she replied dubiously. She was a very disillusioned adolescent at this point. 

“Let’s have a look then,” Kay said. 

It was indeed an old encyclopedia on a Nigerian scale. It gave information on and about everything. From great Statesmen to Garri. Kay slowly flipped past pages. 

“Bingo!” Kay screamed suddenly. The whole room went ssshhh, like one giant angry snake. 

“What’s wrong with you? “ His younger sister whispered fiercely, “This is a library! A libraryyyy! And anyway, whatever did you see that robbed you so utterly of your senses?” 

"This, this, this!" Kay whispered, shutting his eyes and jabbing his index finger repeatedly and excitedly on the white page. Bella and the others leaned forward. The article was tucked into the lower left side of a right page. It read: 

Foremost amongst acclaimed green fingers in Nigeria is the Wase district in Jos, Plateau state phenomenon, who goes by the name of Hassan Gwarzo Karagirma. A green finger with a distinctive difference, H.G. Karagirma's powers are fabled to be effective on not just plants, but virtually every living thing! 

His list of successes includes the eradication of dwarfism in his home village and the total lack of bald heads amongst the elderly male population around Wase. Plants in his immediate environment are world famous for their near-gigantic size and health. 

H.G. Karagirma lives in the plateaus of the Wase district of Jos, from where he runs his incredible business. 

Bella gazed rapturously at the page, fingering the scanty fringe around her hairline. 

"A green finger with a distinctive difference," she breathed tremulously, "effective on virtually every living thing ... total lack of bald heads... H.G. Karagi- Kargi..."She turned helplessly to Hammed, "Hammed, that's a Hausa name, isn't it?" 

"That's right," 

"Well, I can't say it right. What’s the English translation of Karagiri ... his name?" 

Hammed frowned thoughtfully. "Karagirma. Added growth. Increased height," he shrugged, "Grow more?" 

"Perfect!" Isabella cried, "Grow more! How appropriate, Hassan Gwarzo Growmore. H.G. Growmore!" 

"Don't forget he's in Jos and you'll have to find him first," Tekoa put in, "And his address isn't very specific to start with, not to mention how old the book is, so don't get carried away.” 

Bella put on an agonized expression, "I have to find him! This morning, when I was combing my hair, it was like a rainstorm! Soon, H.G. Growmore himself won't be able to help. " 

Kay looked sagaciously up at the ceiling, stroking his chin, "Hmnn," he went, "Hmmmnnn." 

"Stop hmmning and say something!" Bella yelled, "My hairline is in peril!" 

The room began to go ssshhh again; they saw Bella's glower, and everyone hurriedly buried their heads under their books. 

“Let us find out more about this… Growmore first,” said Hammed, pulling out his phone and beginning to type. “Now we have a definite name to search, it should be easier.” 

Everyone crowded around him. Soon, a search results page popped up on the phone screen. Hammed followed the most suitable link, and soon they were staring with bated breaths at an all-green website. H.G. KARAGIRMA GROWTH SERVICES, it said in a happy yellow font. 

“Now I see why we couldn’t find it earlier. He grows everything. Not just hair, which is what we were searching for.” 

“Just read,” begged Bella, straining her neck to see past Tekoa’s rather large head. 

Most of the website was just a repeat of the book. However, there were pictures, oh, such lovely pictures of tall trees and vegetables, huge livestock … and oh, goodness … hair! Lots of hair piled on the heads of lucky women and girls. Bella wriggled in great exhilaration.

Kay saw a phone number for BOOKINGS. He quickly dialed it on his small phone. It rang just once, and then a cool, articulate female voice was on. 

“Hello, this is Hassan Gwarzo Karagirma Growth Services. How may we be of assistance to you, please?” 

Kay gaped in silence, flummoxed by the so professional delivery. 

“Hello? Are you still there?” the lovely voice inquired. Bella stared at him. “Say sssomething, Kay!” she hissed in a whisper. Kay came back with a jump. 

“Y-Yes,” he stuttered to a start, “I would like to make some inquiries, please.” Kay put the phone on speaker so everyone could hear. He turned the volume down in deference to the reading guests in the room.  

“All right, Sir. You would like to make an appointment to see Mr Karagirma, I take it?” 

Bella nodded quickly at Kay. Kay shook his head. As if he needed guidance. He had frozen for a second or two, but he was rather okay now. In his mind, he saw himself swinging over trees and fording rivers to save Bella’s hair. For no reason he knew, he was dressed like Tarzan. Perhaps a quick costume change- 

“Kaayyyy!” 

Kay looked at Bella with still glazed eyes. Hammed shook his head. “Maybe I should talk on the phone.”

“I have it, never lost it,” insisted Kay; he leaned over the phone, switching on his best older role model voice, “Em, that is correct. We would like to make an appointment. My sister and I,” he added. 

“That won’t be a problem, Sir. If I could have your names, please?” The voice answered coolly. 

“Er … Kanu Ohieri, Isabella Ohieri … er, when would we be able to come?” 

“There is a waiting period of two weeks for all consultations with Mr Karagirma, Sir.” 

Bella gasped. Two weeks? Two weeks!? She snatched the phone from Kay. 

“Ma’am! I can’t wait two weeks! Please! My hair will be all gone in one week! Four days even!” 

“I assume this is Isabella? And it is a hair matter?” 

“Yes and yes!” Bella said. She was not at all intimidated by the voice. “I must come immediately.” 

“I wish we could accommodate you, Isabella, unfortunately Mr Karagirma’s laboratory is quite far from Jos, where our office is situated. Hence, the arrangement is that clients come to the office and then we take them by bus up into the plateau where the lab is. Some of these people have booked weeks earlier. It wouldn’t do for us to play favorites and jump someone ahead of the line.”

“But this is really urgent,” Bella said in her small voice. 

“I am afraid virtually all of our clients seem to share that impression. It is not a matter of life and death, is it?” 

“Yes, it is!” Bella said fiercely. 

The voice laughed, a pleasant tinkle. “I mean literally, Isabella. You are not ill, I imagine.” 

Bella sighed, defeated. “I don’t think so. Although I do feel faint when I think of my hair. Does that count?” 

“No, that sadly doesn’t count, Isabella. You know, two weeks is not such a long wait.” 

“It’s forever! Please, please, please; can nothing at all be done?” 

The voice paused. Kay imagined the owner lost in thought. One long finger stroked a clear chin. Before her, a long line of anxious people stood in line with hushed breaths. Waiting for her decisions, which would change their lives. 

“There is one thing,” the voice began slowly and not so confidently anymore. Kay’s imagination vanished in a puff of imaginary smoke. The voice went on, “It’s not very sensible, really, and it would mean some sort of difficulty faced…” 

“Yes, yes, anything!” Bella gasped, leaning over the phone. 

“You could have your parents take you to the lab directly instead of coming first to Jos.” The voice suggested slowly, “You would still need an appointment to see Mr Karagirma, naturally, but you would be down to a few days' wait rather than two weeks.” Bella looked up at Kay in renewed hope. 

“Again, I repeat, it wouldn’t be uncomplicated. Much of the area surrounding the lab is wild. There aren’t many roads or other modern amenities like hotels, for instance. The nearest village is 40 kilometers away. Mr Karagirma requires immediate proximity to nature for his work. Do you think your parents could manage all that?” 

Kay and Bella glanced at each other. Each was thinking the same exact thought. Their parents were always very busy; too busy, in Bella’s opinion. They never came to any of her school plays. It was one reason she and Kay had so many adventures by themselves. Bella sadly shook her head, tears beginning to form in her eyes. 

“I don’t think-” she began and stopped, because Kay had placed a hand over her mouth. While she looked at him with startled eyes, he leaned over the phone in her hand. 

“That would be totally all right,” Kay said in a voice quite as composed as the one on the phone, “would you be so kind as to send us an address, please?” Haa! Nailed it! He thought smugly. Professor Tom Foolery had his uses still. 

“Well, that is what I was explaining. The lab is basically lost up in the hills of Wase. There is no address as such. I could supply general directions. However, you would need to find it yourselves.” 

“Okay, directions then and any other details we would need to know, please.” “I would be delighted to do that, Kay. It will come via WhatsApp. You are on that?”

“Is Nigerian Jollof the absolutely best in the world?” 

The cheerful tinkle peeled from the phone again. “Stand by then. And it’s been a pleasure talking to you both.” 

The phone vibrated once and became silent. Bella stared at Kay. Kay held up a finger. “Wait for it. Another scintillating idea of the great Kay … loading.” 

“Skintill… that’s not a word!” 

“Dazzling! Out of this world. Awesomely clever.” 

Bella snorted. She had just learnt that one from Mama, “Why not just say clever? You are a big show off, Kay.” 

Kay started to grin, then suddenly snapped his fingers instead. 

"Got it! Boy, have I got it! We have three days to execute plan B!" 

"Why three days?"Bella asked, "And why are we executing Plan B? What was Plan A?" 

"Well, now you ask, Plan A was wrapping you in a parcel and posting you to H.G. Growmore’s Lab. It has been abandoned due to the reality of our lack of a vital piece of data- his exact postal address out on that plateau." 

"No kidding," Bella grunted.

"We need three days to implement B," Kay continued, "because we are going to use Mum and Dad's trip with Jenny to her new school." 

"Still don't get it," Warned Bella, her eyes beginning to glint, "talk much faster and clearer," 

"Well, they are away three days, right? So what if we also leave for Jos as soon as they go tomorrow? Dike could drive us. Mum says Dad is driving them. We would then have half of tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to look for H.G. Growmore and save your declining hairline. And so we shall!" 

Kay banged his fist on the table. Hammed and Tekoa cheered. The room sneaked looks at Bella and read on. 

"Yes!" Screamed Bella, shaking a clenched fist in the air, "Yes! To Jos and H.G. Growmore!"  

TUESDAY. 

THE THREE persons stood by the foot of the plateau, gazing up at the grey apex in the mass of stone. Dike shook his head as if in a daze, which he probably was. 

"Crazy," he mumbled, "This is so crazy! I don't believe I'm actually doing this. I can't believe you two truly talked me into this. Your mother will kill me when she hears of this. Then your Daddy will wake me up and then kill me all over again. When they hear … not if!" 

Dike was the Ohieris’ driver. He was usually a cheerful fellow in his early thirties. The kids liked him because he never took life too seriously. He shook his head again. Bella shoved her head in front of Dike’s face. 

"You mean you'd rather see me go bald as Lex Luthor than let Mummy kill you?" She demanded ferociously. 

Dike muttered something dark and incomprehensible, then shook his head yet again, "I cannot believe it." 

KAY patted him on the back reassuringly. "You are here, Sport, believe that. " Bella glanced at her watch. 

"Half past one; we'd better get started. My hair is thinning so fast, every second counts." 

Dike came out of his daze. He patted the knapsack on Kay's back. 

"You are sure you have everything?" 

"All complete, checked and rechecked," Kay grinned. 

"Insect repellents, mosquito nets, food-" 

Bella waved her hand impatiently, "Everything, Dike! Can we go now … please?" Dike shook his head glumly."Now, don't forget, Thursday 6 P.M. I'll be waiting right here." 

"So shall we, promise!" Bella's smile grew with her excitement, "Gosh, what an amazing adventure!"

"For some of us anyway," Said Dike in resignation. He adjusted Bella's knapsack slightly, "Okay, Kiddos, goodbye for now, take care of yourselves for goodness sake! If you see any mountain lions, run like crazy." 

“Like that will work,” scoffed Kay, “they are much faster. We’ll just lie down and play dead. They like their food alive.” 

Dike stared at Kay. He suddenly shook his head and grabbed one of Bella’s bags. “This was crazy anyway. I think you two had better come with m-” 

Bella snatched back the bag. 

“Weren’t you on your way back home?” she asked with clenched teeth. Dike looked up again at the peak of the hill. He shook his head. 

“I suppose so,” he mumbled, then looked at Kay. “Those are Tigers.” “What?” 

“Tigers … they like their food living.” 

“But there are no Tigers in Nigeria, Dike. Didn’t you know that?” Kay said cheerfully. 

“I know that, I meant …” Dike gave up, wiping his face with a hand. He didn’t look very happy.

Bella gave him a little friendly nudge towards the car parked nearby. "You do have all you need?" Dike fretted. 

"A Boy Scout is always prepared. Leave everything to me, yes, Sir!" Kay saluted. 

Dike gave them both long hugs, then tried to pull Bella into the car. She showed him bared teeth in a very good snarl. Kay was impressed. Dike groaned, then got into the car. They all flapped their hands in a wave goodbye. 

Bella and Kay watched with mixed feelings as the big Mercedes turned around and then moved away down the dusty path. Kay rubbed his eyes in surprise. 

"I can't believe Dike really left us here alone; two kids in the middle of nowhere," "Turning yellow already?" Bella taunted. 

"Look here," Kay began defensively, "I am thirteen years old, and I am the oldest here. How many thirteen-year-olds did you ever see on TV fighting mountain lions?" 

"Relax, will you? There are no lions here. Or Tigers either." 

"You hope! For all we know, this place could be another Yankari Game Reserve! Tigers may have migrated to Africa, and no one sent us a text. Everything from here to the horizon could be just panting to eat us!" 

"You look, if you want to go back, Kaduna town is that way. Me, I've got a long overdue date with a gentleman called H.G. Growmore."

Bella adjusted her pack and set off determinedly, chin jutted pugnaciously forward. Muttering, KAY followed at half steam, casting exaggerated looks behind him. They found a beaten path and followed its twisty trail up the rock. 

There were lots of places on the way up that were very tough going, but half an hour later, they crested the top of the hill. Up high, there was a breathtaking view of the surrounding country. It was mostly scrub bushes and short trees, but everything looked green and fresh. Bella breathed in with relish. 

“Now, tell me this view wasn’t worth the climb?” she enthused happily. 

KAY silently unhooked his knapsack, dropped it to the grassy floor, reached into it, and withdrew a book. Bella turned to look, watching half-suspiciously. 

"What book is that?" 

"’The Beginner's guide to camping’. Indispensable literature for all beginner campers." 

A disgusted look appeared on his sister's face. 

"What do you need that for? According to you, you are not a beginner at anything. Where did all those stories about your first big camping trip suddenly vanish to? Your overactive imagination?" 

Kay sighed theatrically, 

"My first and only camping trip. Listen, I went to a Boys Scout Jamboree that lasted six hours. Thirty boys surrounded by eighty-two scout masters, and I was seven at the time, too. So, I'll use the book to refresh the old memory from time to time, thank you, Ma'am. ... Let's see... what says big brother here..." 

Kay flipped slowly through the pages, humming, observed by a scowling Bella. He cleared his throat nonchalantly. His accent became what he thought a good approximation of Robert Baden Powell. 

"I think I've got the hang of it; er, according to this here book, the very first thing to do is to find a source of good, clean, fresh water, and set up camp as close to it as possible. No problem there, trust the K, whenever it comes to anything that ingresses the oral cavity, you couldn't be in safer hands." 

"Anything that whats the what?" Bella snapped! 

"Ingresses the oral cavity. Enters the mouth. You dig, princess?" 

"Look, Kay, this is going to be a really long trip," Bella stormed, "If you keep doing that!" 

Kay grinned and slung his pack to his back. He poked his nose up, sniffed twice, pointed in a direction, and set off. Fifteen minutes later, they found a little cheerful spring. The water was cool and delicious. They tiredly dropped their packs to the ground some twenty feet away. 

Kay took out and spread the components of their tent on the grass. He opened the sheet of instructions and studied it with a lot of head scratching. Bella peeked over his shoulder at the sheet. 

"Do you understand it?" She asked hopefully.

"Trust me," Kay pontificated, "In no time at all, this tent will be proudly standing, and we shall be on our way with the sole intent of the rejuvenation of your scalp in mind-" 

"STOP THAT!" Bellowed Bella. 

Kay jumped in fright, spinning at the same time, the sheet dropping from his hand. He was that astonished. Bella stood glaring at him, hands at her waist. 

"Why did you do that?" Kay yelled. 

"I told you NEVER to do that again," Bella snapped, "Now what's rejunation?" "Scared me half to death," Kay grumbled. 

"Well? Rejunation..." 

"Rejuvenation ... make young again. Bring back to life. Resurrect; understand? Comprends-tu? Capisce? Hellooo ... anyone home in there?" He tapped the side of his head. 

"I am not deaf," Bella said, patting her hair primly, "Now hurry up with that tent. I mean to get in at least an hour’s search before nightfall." 

Grumbling still, Kay began to work. One and a half sweaty hours later, the tent was up. Bella packed their stuff inside and arranged them neatly on opposite sides. She crawled out, looking at her watch.

"Ten past four. Good, we can search for almost three hours." 

Kay screwed up his face. "I am hungry. How about something to nibble at first?' "Later," Bella retorted firmly, patting her hair, "Don't be a big sissy. Let’s go." 

They zipped close the tent entrance and walked away from the campsite. The surrounding landscape was green, grassy, and softly undulating. Soon after, they heard wild, curious chattering. 

“Whatever could that be?” Bella asked with a bit of fright in her voice. Kay did not reply, but walked forward cautiously. Despite his rather boisterous ways, he was at heart a very levelheaded boy with a sense of responsibility towards his younger sister. 

The sounds grew louder and wilder. Even Kay’s eyes were beginning to turn to an O. Bella clutched at his arm protectively. They rounded a corner of the grass-overgrown path. The noise grew to a real din. Bella clutched Kay’s arm so tight, the veins began to show. She shut her eyes for good measure. 

“What is it? What is it?” she panted. 

“You can stop killing my arm now, Bella. It’s quite all right; in fact, it’s fantastic! Whoooh!” Kay whooped. 

Bella slowly opened her eyes and looked. Her eyes widened even more at the sight they beheld. 

“Monkeys?” she gasped.

“Can you believe this?” Kay was almost dancing, “it’s like the largest monkey zoo in the world!” 

And so it easily could be. There were lines of coconut trees stretching off into the distance. And on every single one of the tall, stately plants were monkeys. Hundreds of them it seemed. Big, small, brown, black. They leaped nimbly from branch to branch, plucking off coconuts from the trees. On the ground were mounds of wasted fruits and leftovers. Kay and Bella watched the monkeys for a while. 

“But, coconut shells are hard,” Bella whispered, not wanting to scare the little creatures, “how do they get through the shells to the nuts inside?” 

Kay pointed, “Because they are pretty smart. Look, they never pluck the old fruits with already hardened shells. Only the still tender, soft ones. It’s not difficult for them to bite through then. Amazing, right?” 

They watched the capering animals for a few minutes more. Then Kay began to search the ground below the trees. 

“What now?” Bella asked, surprised. 

“Just utilizing the benefits of literary explorations, my dear.“ 

“For once, I know every word in that sentence, but it still makes no sense whatsoever.” 

“Read more, sis. The Swiss Family Robinson. In the book, this family, stranded on an inhabited island, is faced with a milieu such as we have today,” Kay waved a dramatic hand, “monkeys on coconut trees.”

Bella wiped a trickle of sweat from her eye, “… and a miloo is…” 

“Milieu, dear girl; a situation, scenario, you dig? ” 

“Dug.” Bella was simply too hot, tired, and bothered to exert her usual energy about one of Kay’s show-off spells. They had been walking for close to 2 hours by this time. 

“Now, they want coconuts but can’t climb the trees.” Kay continued, “The only way out, therefore, was to get the monkeys to help.” 

“So the family asked monkeys … to help them get coconuts? Really?” Bella was all disdain. 

“In a manner of speaking. To get the monkeys to throw down some coconuts, they tossed a few small rocks up at the animals. And of course, the angry monkeys plucked off the largest nuts they could find, and threw them back at the family!” Kay held out both hands. “Voila! Everyone is happy!” 

Bella sighed and wiped. It was really toooo hot for this. 

“And … this is what you want to do- now?” 

Kay was back to hunting on the ground. His arms already carried several impressive specimens. 

“Yep! But no small rocks for me, no sir! I figure they respond in kind, right? So I am lobbing up the biggest mini-mountains I can lay my hands on.”

“But, Kay,” began Bella in her most reasonable mummy voice; she pointed a hand, “There are quite enough coconuts on the ground already, all around the trees. I think the fruits fall off by themselves when they are ripe enough. Why don’t you just pick those up?” 

What?“ Kay was dismayed, “Old coconuts? When there is a fresh feast up there just for the throwing?” 

Bella sighed again, folded her arms across her chest, and just observed. Adequately fortified with stony missiles, Kay stepped up to the first tree, grinning in anticipation. Some monkeys up in the trees noticed him, but chose to ignore the little boy so far down on the ground. 

Boy, were they in for a surprise, thought Kay as he took careful aim. He didn’t want to hurt any monkey, only aim near enough to get them really, really mad. The angrier the monkeys, the bigger the feast, right? 

Kay grinned again, almost licking his lips. He let fly. Thwack! The rock landed on the tree near a particularly large monkey. It screeched in surprise and fright, and swung up fast as lightning to a higher branch. It gaped incredulously at Kay. Some other monkeys close by stopped their chattering and drew closer. 

Kay was jubilant. He hoped the others were close relatives. Families must stick together, his Mum always said. Kay hoped the monkey stuck together, and more importantly, threw together. The monkeys seemed to be holding a family meeting. They jabbered to each other, and several pointed their long, armed fingers at him. 

“Yep! Yep! I did it! Come and get me!” Kay confessed happily. To help the monkeys get to it quicker, he let fly three more rocks. 

The monkeys went wild. Chattering and screeching, leaping all over the trees, they went to work. They tore off and threw branches from the trees. They threw leaves. One dad even tried to throw a baby monkey before its mother told her mate she wasn’t having that. They threw everything but coconuts. Not one green delicious fruit landed on the ground. Ten minutes of frantically dodging the barrage later, Kay decided to throw one more rock. A monkey caught it and threw it right back. Kay had to skip to one side smartly. His shoulders hunched in defeat. 

“Had enough?” Called Bella sympathetically from a safe distance away. Kay scowled. He really didn’t like it when his baby sister was right. But … better coconuts from the ground than none at all. He stepped forward to pick up some. A shower of branches showered down in front of him, barring the way. Up above, the monkeys gesticulated wildly at him. No way, they seemed to say, not even from the ground, Mister! 

“Guess coconut is off the menu today,” Bella called. And this time Kay had had quite enough. 

Dispirited, he joined Bella, and they trudged off. Kay attacked a few guava trees growing nearby and returned, delightedly clutching three yellow fruits. Who needs their coconuts anyway? Drat at those monkeys! 

An hour later, they bumped into a goat-herd, a boy of about ten, driving a group of six goats before him. Bella motioned for the boy to stop. 

"Hello,” she smiled. 

The boy looked at her blankly and then looked at Kay. Bella tried again.

"Er, do you live around?' 

The boy looked longingly at his goats, which were slowly drifting away, chewing leisurely on the grass everywhere. He looked pointedly at Bella. She tried one last time. 

"Do you know Hassan Gwarzo ... er, Kay, what's the name again?" 

Kay shrugged, eating the last of his guavas, grinning. He was obviously enjoying the drama. 

"Search me,' he purred. 

Bella turned back to the boy. "Well, nice meeting you." She waved, and the boy trotted quickly after his goats, which now were far away. Occasionally, he glanced back at Bella. 

"Hadn't we better turn back?" Kay put in tactfully. 

Bella scowled at him. "Look here. Do you think this is a picnic? Do you see a basket of apples? Do you see a blanket on the ground with pictures of little birds on it? We came to do one thing: find H.G. Growmore. My hair fell so much just now when I combed it, I almost fainted." 

"Well, couldn't you stop combing it?" 

"Listen, dearest,” Bella began in her best Mum imitation, “we may be in the middle of the Kalahari desert for all I know, but Isabella is not going about looking like a comb-less tramp."

"Keep combing, my gal, and you will be a tramp who doesn't need a comb,” 

Bella scowled, "Come on! It's getting dark. I don't want to get lost on top of everything else." 

"Why worry? It may be just what you need. You could bump into a guardian Angel, and your problem will disappear, voila." 

"Keep talking, and you will need a guardian angel, too. One with a first aid box!" 

They arrived at their campsite just as the sun dipped behind a hill. Bella brought out the camp gas cooker and an LED lamp. She powered the latter, then lit up the former. It hissed as the pressurized gas poured out, bathing the area in white, bright effulgence. 

"What's for dinner?" Yelled Kay, rummaging inside the tent. 

"Bread, eggs, and cocoa to drink," Bella called back, "what are you doing?" 

Kay emerged with a cup and a spoon. "Yummy," he licked his lips, "but before that, a little something to keep the old engine room lubricated." He rubbed his stomach and then walked towards the spring. 

"What's in the cup, Kay?" Bella called, ominously quiet. 

"G2, my darling." 

"What is so-called?" 

"G2. Garium Sulphate. Student Power. The defender of the universe. Golden dust." 

"You are not making any sense!" 

"See why I say you should have gone to boarding school? How does a mummy's girl speak the language of the people?" 

"What is in the cup?" Bella hollered. 

"Okayyy! Keep your hair on. Goodness knows you need every last tendril. I'm going to sample a little soaked garri, satisfied?" 

"No! You are eating between meals. Dinner will be ready in five minutes." "And I'll be ready for dinner in five minutes, no worries." 

Kay was spooning in the last mouthful of the cassava-derived cereal when Bella placed a steaming plate and mug beside him. 

"Fantastic timing. And now, on to the main course." 

Bella sat opposite him. About them, the LED light-lit terrain looked pristinely clear. Crickets and other nocturnal animals could be heard around them. 

"We should see a sign of H.G. Growmore tomorrow," Bella murmured, "I'd really hate to be bald." 

Kay patted her knee comfortingly, "Don't sweat it, sis, we shall. We'll start real early, search all day, come back triumphant."

"That I understand," Bella smiled. 

Dinner over, they washed up in the spring, brushed their teeth, and entered the tent. It was a little cramped, with both their sleeping bags stretched out on opposite sides. Bella fell asleep at once, muttering about hair and combs. Kay read a little, then turned off the lamp, and he too slept. 

KAY AWOKE with a start in the middle of the night. Bella was whispering. "I heard something," her voice was tense, "there! Again!" 

Kay heard the sound and relaxed with a sleepy sigh. "Bats," he explained, "go back to sleep." 

So they slept. High above them, the moon watched the little camp like a faithful guardian Angel.

WEDNESDAY. 

KAY WOKE slowly. From outside the tent, shafts of sunlight dissipated the gloom within. Bella's sleeping bag was empty. Kay said his prayers, pulled out his toothbrush and a tube of paste from his pack, and crawled out, eyes wincing from the bright morning sunshine. 

Bella was squatting before the cooker, making breakfast. 

"Morning, angel," sang Kay, “We didn't say our prayers last night.” 

"I know. I said a double portion this morning to make up." 

Kay laughed, "How's the hair?" 

"Fading fast. It's H.G. Growmore or bust today." 

Kay went away to the spring, chuckling. He brushed his teeth quickly and bathed his face and hands. He returned and stood by Bella. 

"How does one bathe here?" He asked. 

"I thought about it. I suggest we take turns at night." 

"Works for me. What's breakfast?"

"Cocoa again, biscuits, eggs- boiled this time, and leftover bread. And it's ready too. Sit down." 

They ate quickly in silence, washed up, and stowed away the utensils in the tent. They zipped up the entrance and locked it. And then they were away. 

In the light of the morning, the plateau seemed to vibrate with life. Birds sang and flittered; rabbits hopped, a few distant snakes with skins coldly gleaming in the sun, slithered silently away; there was grass, flowers, fruit trees. Beautiful Nature. 

The two children walked with a new spring in their steps, luxuriating in the joy of unbridled freedom. Kay called a halt after the first hour. He sat on the short grass, and from his little backpack, pulled out the sandwiches Bella had carefully packed for lunch. 

“Kanu Ohieri!" Growled Bella, "What do you think you are doing?" 

"Eating my lunch a wee bit early," Kay bit down firmly on bread, sardines and tomatoes. Bella could only stand, fuming silently while the sandwiches did a vanishing act. Kay washed it all down with orange juice from his water bottle. He smacked his lips in satisfaction. 

"Way to live!" 

"One hour!" Glowered Bella, "That's all I give you. Just one hour, and you don't get a crumb of mine!" 

"Chill, Senorita," Kay drawled, reaching into his backpack, "As always, the great K came hyper-prepared." 

He displayed a plastic bag with garri, cubes of sugar, and roasted, peeled groundnuts. Bella hissed and turned away. 

"Come on!' She snapped. 

They went on. They marched on, talked some more with other assorted local people, rested, walked, ate fruits, and walked some more. Morning progressed into the afternoon. 

Kay shook his head sadly as they watched the nth group of herdsmen and cows lope away. 

"Not a single word of English. I wonder how you say H.G. Growmore in pantomime." 

"In ... what?" Bella sighed tiredly. 

"Pantomime. Talking without words. Sign language. Capisce?" 

"Capisce." 

They rested while they ate some lunch and plucked delicious fruits off trees for dessert. Soon after lunch, they were walking up yet another incline when Kay suddenly grabbed Bella’s arm. 

“Run!” he bawled in her ear. 

“What?”

Kay was dragging her forward urgently. Bella stumbled over the rough ground, bewildered. Kay looked back over his shoulder. “Climb!” he yelled. 

Bella snatched her arm away, halting and stamping her right foot. 

“Run! Climb! Which one first? What’s going on?” 

Kay scratched his head, apparently making up his mind. The loud sounds of barking dogs filled the air. 

“Climbbbb!” yodeled Kay, grabbing Bella and leaping for a nearby tree. Bella gasped, glancing behind. Through the scrub, two huge dogs raced towards them, barking like thunder. Bella didn’t wait to be told twice. She scrambled up the low tree beside Kay, skinning her knee while she was at it. The dogs arrived at the tree and danced around it, barking in great excitement. Bella stared in terror at them. Kay laughed heartily. 

“That was a close call, huh?” 

“Kay! How can you laugh at this? We could have been hurt! Those are huge dogs!” 

“Not just huge dogs, sister; huge, hairy, hunting dogs. See the queer collars around their necks?” 

Bella peered down. The dogs were leaping up occasionally. She drew up her legs even higher. 

“And those would be the hunters,” Kay said, pointing. 

Four men of different ages came running up breathlessly. They all carried sticks, rough bows and arrows, and one even bore a rusty, locally-made hunting rifle. They clustered about the tree and stared up at Kay and Bella. One of them made the dogs stop barking. The eldest pointed up at the kids, then at the dogs, and said something. 

“No English, I suppose?” Bella called down hopefully. 

The hunters spoke some more, but the children up in the tree were completely at sea. 

“He says the dogs would not wound you,” a new voice spoke. Kay and Bella started and then looked down. A fifth person had joined the group downstairs. He was older and wizened and carried a herder’s staff. He looked up at them with a frank scrutiny. 

“English, yes?” 

“Yes, yes, I say!” Kay enthused. 

“Good,” the old man drew closer to the tree, looking up. ”The hunter, he says, the dogs are taught…” 

“I think he means trained,” Bella whispered. 

The voice went on, regardless, “not to harm the animals they catch. They would only have bitten and held you at the neck, so you don’t run away.” 

Kay rubbed his neck, “Very comforting.” 

“But now, you can climb down. They have told the dogs you are not a good catch. You are city people, so you would probably taste like that white substance you all use each morning to ruin your teeth.” 

“Does he mean toothpaste?” Bella inquired in a whisper. 

“He sure doesn’t mean chocolate.” Kay whispered back, “Okay, easy does it. I’ll go first.” 

Soon, both kids were on the ground, solemnly shaking hands with the hunters. The one with the gun said something. 

“What did he say, please?” Bella inquired. 

The old man shrugged. “He says it is a pity you are not a great antelope. The way the dogs barked, he imagined the game was quite large.” 

“I am large enough,” Bella answered, “I am too tall for my age; everyone says so.” “Yes, only not quite so palatable as an antelope.” 

“Thank GOD,” Bella intoned in relief. 

The hunters allowed the kids to pat the dogs, waved, and ran off with the dogs running ahead. Kay shook his head. 

“Looks like thirsty work. I could use a drink myself right now. Our water bottles are empty. You wouldn’t know of a nearby spring, sir?” he said politely to their rescuer. 

“Better yet, would you both come with me to my home? You can drink and then tell me why two city children are being chased about by dogs in the plateau.”

Kay looked thoughtful, “Well, we really shouldn’t …” 

The old man waved this away. 

“The day children are no longer safe in the plateau is the day the world has indeed come to an end. Besides, I know of you, my grand nephew told me about you. Tankwok. You met him yesterday?” 

The children stared at him. The old man gestured with his palm downward. “This high … walking behind a few goats?” 

“Oh my goodness!”gushed Bella, “Of course, the goat-herd from yesterday. He is your nephew?” 

“Grand nephew, I said. His father is my brother’s son. Now do come, come.” The old man turned and walked off. Kay looked at Bella. 

“He looks harmless enough. Shall we?” 

“He does, and we shall. Come on.” 

They ran after the old man. 

About five minutes of leisure walking brought them to a small atoll, on which was spread a collection of three raffia huts. There was a small corral to one side of the settlement, containing some sheep and goats. A man and a woman in their mid-thirties were engaged in tasks about the place. Kay guessed these were the father and mother of the little goats-herd, their old friend’s nephew and niece. He looked around for their erstwhile acquaintance, but saw only a little girl of about 3 chasing a lamb round and round. 

The old man spoke a few words to the couple. The man waved. And went on about his tasks. The woman came forward, smiling. The little girl hung back, staring shyly. Her mother said something and made a gesture. 

“She says you have come at a good time … welcome,” said the old uncle. “Oh, thank you so much,” Bella replied, grandly repeating the gesture. 

The woman smiled warmly. She was quite small, with skin the color of finely burnished clay. Bella stared at the woman’s long, silky hair. Now here was someone who didn’t need H.G. Growmore any day of the week. The woman ushered them to seats on a raffia mat placed under the shade of a tree. 

Around them, the light was beginning to turn the rosy orange of a sunset. The old uncle sat with a sigh beside them. He spoke rapidly to the woman. She smiled quickly at Bella and Kay and hurried away. The little girl trotted after her, glancing back at the strangers curiously. 

“While we await your refreshments, you can tell me what you are doing out here in the bush.” 

Kay took a breath and told the uncle all about their search for the green finger. At the end the latter pursed his lips thoughtfully. 

“And you say he … this person who grows things… he is here … on the plateau?”

“Yes, yes,” Bella nodded eagerly, “Do you know where the lab is? I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear someone speak a language we understand around here.” 

“And I am really curious to hear how come,” Kay added. 

The old uncle looked surprised. 

“You think because we live in the bush, we have no education?” 

“Er … well, but your grand nephew, Tankwok? And your niece also, I suspect… they don’t …” Kay stammered to a stop, slightly embarrassed. 

“Yes, my nephew and his wife did not attend school, and neither now do their children. But do not mistake choice for availability.” 

“So, they chose not to go to school? Why would they do that?” Bella was amazed. 

The old uncle shrugged, “Everyone has a different path they tread in this life. I wanted to learn the ways of the present. My nephew is content with his life up here. So for now is Tankwok. Mushyen … the little one,” he indicated the little girl far away, “she increasingly shows signs that she is a seeker of knowledge. So when it is time, her mother will take her to live with family down in the village, where there is a primary school.” 

Mushyen’s and Tankwok’s mother arrived with milk in little calabash bowls. 

“Goat milk. Fresh evening yield. Most refreshing. Drink.” The old uncle drank his bowl down and sighed in satisfaction. Kay and Bella hesitated at first, took tentative sips, and then drank more enthusiastically. The milk had a unique flavor, but was otherwise excellent. They made a gesture of thanks to the woman, who smiled back and took their empty bowls. 

Kay glanced in concern at the setting sun. Their host followed his look. 

“Ahh, your quest. Sad to say, I have not heard of this man you speak of. And I have lived here all my life.” 

“Ohh,” Bella was disappointed. “Are you quite sure?” 

“As I said, I have lived here all my life, but…” 

“Yes…?” Bella leaned forward, hanging on every word. 

“We have not been up here, in this part of the hills, long. It is possible we have not heard of him. The plateau is quite large. A continent could get lost up here.” 

“How long have you been here, sir?” Kay enquired. 

“Oh, eh, well… this is our fourth day.” 

Kay laughed in relief, “And H.G. Growmore likes it quiet, I should expect. He probably would go out of his way to avoid too much notice. Game on still!” 

The sound of bleating goats heralded the return of Tankwok. The ten-year-old came behind his small band of goats. He stopped in surprise to see the children from yesterday with his father’s uncle. 

“Hi, Tankwok,” smiled Bella.

Tankwok just stared at her. His grand uncle said something to him, but Tankwok only stared the more. Then he turned and led his goats towards the corral. Bella was slightly disappointed he didn’t stop to talk more. She had taken quite a shine to the capable goats-herd. Halfway to the corral, Tankwok turned and yelled something at them. 

“What’s that?” Kay asked. 

The old uncle turned to the kids with a smile, “Tankwok says, would you like to see him milk the goats?” 

Kay grinned. The next few minutes were spent chasing the frisky animals, holding them down with a piece of rope while their full udders were squeezed for milk. Kay and Bella took turns at it, Bella squealing in sheer wonder at it all. 

A faint hum began and grew. Tankwok’s mother glanced back over her shoulder. The next moment, she was on her feet, screaming a warning. She grabbed little Mushyen, running away to the right. Kay turned a startled look to the old uncle. 

“Bees!” he yelled, “their stings will kill the goats! We must hide them all!” 

Everyone raced about like mad, catching the goats and pushing them into a little grotto nearby. It was not an easy task because the goats didn’t seem to like the dark cave at all. The buzz grew, and then Bella could see the dark swarm of the insects approaching against the orange sun. 

“You two, come on,” shouted the old uncle urgently, “into the cave yourselves. The goats are safe now.”

Kay and Bella hurried after the family. Bella was about to enter when she saw Mushyen. In the excitement, no one had seen the little girl wander out of the cave where her mother had kept her safe. She was wandering about in the open, right in the path of the approaching swarm. The bees were almost on her. There was no time to call anyone. Bella plunged out of the cave after the child. 

“Bella!” Kay cried, alarmed. Then he, too, saw Mushyen. He saw too that both Bella and Mushyen would have no chance at all against the angry black mass. Kay had read about bees and knew enough of their stings could kill a person. Bella needed a decoy like right now! 

He raced after her, grabbing a raffia mat on the way. Bella ran as fast as she could towards the girl. The hum was now an angry chattering howl. She glanced back and saw Kay. 

“What are you doing? Get back there!” 

“No way! You need a decoy!” 

“Of all the time in the world to talk gibberish! A what-coy now, boy?” “Decoy! Like a distraction. Something they bees can chase instead! Me!”

Bella stared, then nodded quickly, finally grabbing Mushyen. The bees saw the girls and bore down on them, their twitchy bottoms readying a thousand stings. Quick as a flash, Kay was in front of them, whirling around the raffia mat like a fan gone crazy. The bees paused, hovering and undecided. Kay jumped up and down and yelled in front of them. He stuck out his tongue at an insect he hoped was the Queen, or at least a high government official.

That did it. Nobody yabbed the queen’s second cousin twice removed. The bees collectively decided Kay made a greatly better target. They armed their stings and zoomed in on him.

“Run, Bella!” Kay shrieked and took off in the opposite direction. Bella sprinted as fast as she could to the cave, carrying Mushyen. Lord, the child weighed two tons! Her heart pounded hard, and she kept looking back to see if Kay was all right. She bumped into Mushyen’s father, who had finally seen everything and come running. He took the frightened girl off Bella. The old uncle joined them.

“Kay,” gasped Bella, “my brother-”

The old uncle saw. He nodded once and ran off.

The bees didn’t understand what was happening. No matter how many vicious stings they shot into the young boy, he kept moving. This was quite unusual and really unfair. There was a natural order of things. The bees stung, the target stopped and writhed on the ground in pain. Why wouldn’t he just oblige? They were tired!

Under the raffia mat which protected him, Kay was having the time of his life. The roar of the bees above him sounded just like a gunship in one of his flight simulator games. All he needed now was a pair of bazookas to mow down the enemy. Rat tat atat. Brrrrrrr! Kapoommmaa!

Kay laughed, which turned into a yell as a sharp pain hit him. A clever bee had flown under the raffia and stung his left leg. Oh, oh; the bees were finally figuring it out. Things were not so cushy anymore. Where was a turbo-powered jet pack when you needed-

Kay felt the bees swerve suddenly. After a few seconds, he could no longer hear them above his raffia mat. He slowed and dared a peep. Old uncle was wreathed in smoke and fire, holding aloft a pair of bunches of twigs set ablaze. Fire and smoke slashed again at the bees. After several of their more reckless companions fell, singed black, to the ground, the bees called it a day. In scattered bands, they turned for home. Fiery flowers did they have a story to tell about the strange boy impervious to stings, who had a dragon to protect him. The queen would not be able to shut her mouth for surprise. Soon their buzz had died away in the distance.

Kay lowered his mat in relief. Old Uncle threw away his fire, grinning at Kay. “Are you okay?” he called.

Kay nodded, still not having quite caught his breath. Everyone else came out of the cave, all talking nineteen to the dozen. Kay and Bella were the official heroes of the hour. Mushyen put her hand into Bella’s, and Tankwok beamed up at Kay, his eyes shining in open admiration. Their mother rubbed a local ointment over Kay’s sting, checking the rest of him and Bella like an anxious mother hen. It was all so heady. But soon it was time to go. Bella took a few photos with her phone in the clear dusky light. The two said their goodbyes, and then they were off.

The dusk was threatening to become night soon. Up above, the moon was already out so it wouldn’t be dark at all. Bella glanced at her watch. It read 6:15 P.M.

"We'd better walk faster. We are a long way from camp."

She spoke unhappily. She was quite glad they had saved little Mushyen, but this was the second day, and they still had heard and seen nothing of H.G. Growmore. Kay laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't despair. There's still tomorrow."

Bella nodded quickly, fighting hard to keep the tears in her eyes there. She had so hoped to see H.G. Growmore.

"I'm okay," she mumbled, "let's walk."

They set off, walking at a medium pace. Thirty minutes afterwards, they realized that they were lost.

"Oh gross," muttered Kay, looking around in bewilderment, "oh, oh, gross."

"I thought you knew the way," Bella complained, looking at Kay accusingly, "You said you did!"

"I said I did. I thought I did, but I don't. Please shut up so I can do some cogitation."

"Co-gi ... cogee-" Bella stammered.

"THINKING!" Screamed Kay, "Just shut up and let me think!"

Bella pressed her lips tightly together, but she did keep mum. Kay screwed up his face in hard thought.

"Okay, got it. We've been imperceptibly-“He added hastily, “- so gradually we didn't know- swinging to the left. So all we must do now is head slightly right, and we'll soon stumble on a landmark we know. Perhaps the spring or that cliff I almost fell off yesterday."

"It's getting really late," Bella glanced around uneasily, "Do you mean we just keep walking without a definite sense of where we are going?"

"That's it. And the sooner we begin, the better. Let's march!"

They set off, bearing right, walking quickly, conscious of the fast-fading light. Bella saw it first.

"Look! A signboard. What does it say, I wonder?"

"Not 'Isabella's camp, this way. Five meters.’ So don't hope!" "Come!"

They hurried over to the sign. It was huge. Both very high and very long. They looked up and gasped in unison. In huge red letters, it said:

HASSAN GWARZO KARAGIRMA

Under the name were other words, undecipherable to them because they were in Hausa. Kay groaned.

"Look!" Bella yelled, "Looook!"

She was pointing tremulously at a small corner in the bottom right of the whiteboard. In small black letters, the words:

See English translations overleaf

"Overleaf," murmured Kay, "Behind!"

He raced away, running alongside the long board to its end, where he turned and then ran back on the other side of the sign. Bella ducked nimbly under the signboard, stepped forward, and turned to face the other side of the sign. Seconds later, Kay arrived, huffing and puffing. He stared in astonishment at Bella. Bella was already reading rapturously.

HASSAN GWARZO KARAGIRMA

Growth is my business. Plants, People, hair, livestock. Give me a trial today. You will grow to believe.

And in the bottom right corner, another row of words, this time in Hausa. There was also a pointing arrow. Bella's shining eyes followed the direction of the arrow to the distant hills.

"Growmore," she whispered, "H.G. Growmore at last."

And then suddenly they were dancing and turning somersaults, screaming fit to be tied.

"Finally! Finally! Finally! Finally!" Kay chanted. Bella stopped momentarily to peer anxiously at her watch.

"Seven P.M.!" She hissed in disappointment, "We can't go today. Or..." "Too risky in the dark," Kay shook his head, "HEY! I know that tree!"

He pointed excitedly at a curiously shaped Dorowa tree. Bella laughed. "And so do I. That means camp is five minutes away- thataway!"

"I wonder why we've never seen the sign before," Kay mused as they walked.

"The height," Bella explained, "Unless you are coming at it broadside, you won't see the board because it's so high and the trees cover it. We only saw it just now because we were lost, took a different route, and ran into it headlong."

"Five minutes away and we had to do all that walking," groaned Kay.

Bella laughed, "We shall start from the sign tomorrow. I can't wait!"

Trouble was waiting in the campsite. A large, speckled hyena sat on its tail before their tent, patiently. The children stopped short.

"Ela la la la la," sang Kay.

"You can sing that again,"

"Anything for the customer. Ela la la la la,"

They gazed at the animal in helpless silence for a while. The hyena gazed about disinterestedly.

"Well! What do we do now?" Bella demanded. "Hmmnn," replied her brother, "Hmmnnnn."

"I won’t stand here all night! Don't make those vague noises. Do something!" Kay scratched his head.

"Well," he began, "I saw this movie once, and it said that hyenas are cowards who will not attack anything taller than themselves."

"I think I saw that movie too, so?"

"So we can just walk up, say hi, then say scram- oh, gross. Not anymore, I'm afraid."

"Wha-?"

Kay pointed. A second hyena was just strolling in from the side. It joined the first, sat, and stared at them.

"I wonder if that means they are twice as brave now," Kay mused thoughtfully. "I thought hyenas were loners," Bella opined.

"Maybe they are twins," Kay shrugged.

"Try triplets," Bella countered, indicating with her chin. 

A third hyena had joined the first two. It too sat, staring disinterestedly. "Yeah," Kay assented, "yeaaahhh."

They stood staring at the animals.

"Wellll?" Bella broke the silence after a while. "Well ... what?" Countered Kay.

"Aren't you going to be a man and kick these slimy things out of my camp?"

Kay sighed patiently. "Listen, first, I am a teenager, nowhere near a man. Second, those hyenas are thrice as brave now. You ever heard of anyone who tangled with hyenas with three times their normal courage? I can't act without consulting precedent."

"You want to consult the president? Of what? Your debate society?" "Not president, precedence."

"Don't I have enough on my plate without you doing that?" Bella yelled, startling the hyenas, "What's presi..."

"I told you, precedent. Example. An occurrence in the past under similar conditions with one from the present, from which one can draw parallels, learn lessons, make judgments."

Bella snorted, "Lame excuse."

Kay shrugged and sat down cross-legged on the plentiful grass.

"Might as well imitate them," he remarked, "if they mean to wear us out and then spring a surprise assault, they'll receive a nasty shock when they attack only to meet the great K ready, refreshed and able."

He stared fixedly at the hyenas, trying not to blink first. Bella shook her head in disgust. She looked at the three animals.

"I can't have this," she growled, "I cannot have this! I have a million things to do before I see H.G. Growmore tomorrow. I WON'T HAVE THIS!"

Bella grabbed a nearby stick and strode furiously towards the tent. Kay jumped to his feet, mouth hanging open. Bella halted ten paces away from the trio and brandished the rather heavy stick.

"You horrible creatures," she cried, then covered her nose, "oh, how you pong!

Now I'm giving you three counts to get out of here, or else! …ONE!" 

The hyenas looked nervously at each other, then looked at Bella. They appeared to lose interest again. The middle one yawned. Bella hesitated.

"Do you think it's hungry?" she called to Kay over her shoulder, her eyes wavering uncertainly from the hyenas.

"Naw!" Kay shouted back, “just bored.” “Hilarious. TWO!!”

The hyenas exchanged another round of troubled looks.

“THREE!!! You asked for it!” Bella shrieked like a Samurai and rushed forward. The branch bounced off the first hyena’s head. It yelped loudly, leaped up into the air, and streaked away. The other two slunk out of sight, tails between legs, looking reproachfully at Bella over their shoulders.

Bella bowed sarcastically to Kay, “Your tent awaits, dear Sir,” she said.

Kay shrugged, rising and dusting his shorts. “I’ve always said that you were barmy, and that was a sure barmy thing to do. So, you proved me right, big deal. What’s for dinner?” 

Bella opened the tent entrance, “Chicken,” she returned and vanished within.

THURSDAY.

“CAN’T BELIEVE I overslept today!” Bella grumbled for the eleventh time. She shook her head in vexation, “My first appointment with H.G. Growmore and I am late! Inexcusable!”

“He doesn’t know you are coming,” Kay soothed her patiently, “Besides, it’s just gone past eleven. Plenty of time before our six o’ clock date with Dike.”

“With you dishing out such helpful advice, we’ll probably still be searching for that first signboard then.”

“Guess again, my lady. There it is!”

There it was truly; a huge sign gleaming in the near noon sun. They obeyed the pointing arrow, going down an unfamiliar curving track. Another signboard appeared after about a half-hour. They looked at the reverse side and read:

HASSAN GWARZO KARAGIRMA. THIS WAY PLEASE.

And another half-hour afterwards:

HASSAN GWARZO KARAGIRMA. HALF A MILE. THIS WAY PLEASE.

Twenty-five minutes after that:

WELCOME TO KARAGIRMA HOMESTEAD. PLEASE MIND THE GRASS. NOT FOR ITS SAKE, FOR YOURS!

They found out why seconds later. The green grass, beautifully trimmed, soared one meter into the air on either side of the now graveled path. It would have been easy to get very lost in it. More fruit trees appeared. The children looked around as if in a dream.

Mango fruits packed with juicy fruits despite the late season; strange, exotic-looking trees; guavas, paw-paws, oranges gleaming yellow ripe, all succulent and mouth-watering. Bella pointed excitedly at some huge tangerines.

“Even you would have a hard time dealing with one of those,” she observed. “I’m not arguing,” Kay replied, “I’m not even breathing!”

The gate began where the grass ended. A giant of a man in a sparkling white uniform opened it, smiling and revealing perfect white teeth.

“Welcome to Karagirma homestead!” he boomed like artillery guns, “Please go straight ahead. I assure you, your growth problems are over!”

The astounded children shuffled through the gateway and into the grounds of the house, ears still ringing. The grass here was ankle high, level, and so dense it felt like a soft

Persian rug. The house was vast. Longer than it was high, painted all colors of the rainbow seemingly. Lichen flowers, ingeniously patterned, covered parts of the wall. Palm fronds, high and stately, provided a delightful green shade. Every other space there were flowers- and animals too: And what animals:

Peacocks strutted about, their fan-like tails flashing iridescent colors; gentle, gigantic dogs lazed on the grass, tongues lolling, watching the visitors with benevolent but alert eyes. Rabbits, pigeons, cats; all amazingly oversized, all breathtakingly, splendidly beautiful.

“Surreal,” murmured Kay, “subliminally surreal.”

“I don’t have to ask. I feel what you mean.” Bella whispered, “H.G. Growmore.”

They arrived at the heavy oak door, lifted the large knocker, and let it crash down. The door opened, and a very tall, very attractive lady with shiny, long hair stood smiling at them. Bella saw her hair, and her eyes widened.

“Welcome,” sang the lady sonorously, “Come in, please, come right in.”

They entered gingerly. The room was large and well-appointed. It was a waiting room, apparently, almost full to capacity with people of all kinds. More of the tall, long-haired, beautiful young women walked around, speaking to everyone in soft melodic tones, or serving fragrant cakes and cool-looking juices in tall glasses.

Kay and Bella were waved into a couple of the plush chairs. A heady perfume hung in the air, sort of like fresh apples spiced with crushed rose petals. Bella saw that the perfumed scent came from the flowers growing right out of clever niches in the walls. The children looked around with great interest.

The room contained an intriguing mix of people. The children guessed everyone was there with one growth-related worry or another. Kay wondered if they had all found it as difficult as he and Bella to come to this hidden place. How come they had not run into anyone in 3 days?

All about them, conversation flowed:

A tearful girl of 20 was saying,“ All I wanted was just a little more flesh on my behind. I know I used a little more of the lotion than I was asked to, but whoever thought it would grow so large as this! It’s so heavy, I can hardly walk. And the tail, whoever expected the tail!”

Another woman was shrilly complaining, a miserable man sitting glumly by her, “… too short, my husband said. Go see Karagirma, he said. And so I came, and now Mr Tallee here has to climb a chair to kiss me! And it’s non-reversible too. So I dragged him here today. I hope Karagirma’s lotion doesn’t make him taller than me this time. I can’t see myself spending the rest of my life playing catch-up with the silly man. It’s bad enough being the tallest woman in the neighborhood…”

Another man: “I only hope he is as good as they say he is. If my wife’s sister isn’t back to normal size by the time my wife returns from her tour next week, there will be red hell to pay. I really shouldn’t have tried that shrinking experiment on Ngozi, but what is a poor scientist to do when he can’t afford to buy decent lab rats?”

And yet another woman wailing: “… he’s got to help me! My husband is six feet tall, and people are already raising eyebrows at Junior’s height. If something’s not done and pretty quick, too, Wale will soon realize that those rumors about our dwarf neighbor and I weren’t just malicious gossip! I wonder what I ever saw in that short con artist in the first place… ”

One of the long-haired ladies interrupted their wide-eyed listening with some forms to be filled in. Bella took the opportunity to inform her of her peculiar circumstances.

“And so Dike’s coming at six P.M. prompt.” She concluded. “I’ve got to see H.G. Growmore today- now!”

The lady laughed. “Growmore?”

Bella bowed her head in embarrassment.

“It was difficult to pronounce his real name, so we sort of translated it into English,” Kay explained.

The nice lady laughed again. “I’ll see what I can do then.”

Ten minutes later, she beckoned from across the room. Kay and Bella hurried over. “You are in luck,” smiled the lady, “Growmore will see you now.”

She winked at the delighted children, then opened a door just behind her. She gestured them in with a whispered “good luck” to Bella. The children took a deep breath and stepped in.

KAY AND Bella looked around. The room was an office, and much larger than the waiting room outside. Painted naturalistic beige; white blinds at big picture windows filtered down the sunlight. A wide desk stood dead center in the room. Two leather chairs faced the desk. Paintings hung on the walls. Flowers around the room filled it with a rich perfume. The chair behind the desk was empty.

"Please sit down,"

Kay and Bella whirled round at the voice, puzzled, searching the otherwise empty room for the speaker. A deep chuckle rolled around the room. The children exchanged surprised looks. However, they were not frightened, just really, really curious.

"Over here, by the desk."

Cautiously, they approached the desk, now really intrigued. The desk was almost bare, and the chair was still empty. A nameplate on the desk read:

HASSAN GWARZO KARAGIRMA

"Good afternoon."

Bella was mystified. There was no one else in the room. And then she saw- and froze in stunned astonishment.

A head. Full, luxuriant hair. Finely trimmed moustaches. Prescription glasses. Brown eyes that twinkled from behind the glasses. All of it barely above the top of the desk, body hidden underneath.

"I am Hassan Gwarzo Karagirma," the dwarf said, extending a baby-like hand. “Welcome.”

Brother and sister gasped in unison. The hand stayed outstretched, the owner smiling tolerantly- grinning happily rather. And then, as if they had suddenly been dipped into reviving cold water, they both scrambled to shake the soft, firm hand.

The dwarf chuckled again. His eyes, scarcely above the desk-top, twinkled in amusement. The short arms waved towards the couple of chairs facing the desk.

"Please sit down,"

They did so slowly, fighting hard to avoid leaving their mouths hanging open. Karagirma raised his head and gazed at the papers on the desk. Kay could see it was the form they had filled in earlier.

"Let's see," Karagirma pointed, "You would be Kay, and this must be Isabella." Both nodded mutely. Karagirma grinned again, looking at KAY.

"Good. Now, how may I be of service?" Kay shook his head numbly, "Not me- her." The glasses turned.

"My apologies, Isabella. What is your trouble?" The twelve-year-old squirmed in her seat shyly.

"Tell me," Karagirma smiled encouragingly. "I- I'm - I..." Bella stuttered to a halt. "Yes?"

"I'm going bald!" she blurted out.

The lips still smiled, but the eyes grew thoughtful behind the glasses.

"Hmmnn. How old are you, Bella?" "Twelve, Sir."

"Curious. A twelve-year-old bald girl. A most unusual case. Let's have a look, shall we?

The head disappeared momentarily, and when it appeared, Karagirma was standing by Isabella's chair.

He couldn't have been more than three feet tall. He was dressed in a blue suit. Silk, flowered tie, and black, gleaming shoes. A pink carnation adorned his buttonhole. His baby-handsome face beamed up at them, the moustache trembled happily.

"Isabella, come this way, please; Kay, you may come also."

He led them to the far end of the room. There was a chair, a strange mechanism and a cabinet full of queer metal and glass instruments. Bella was made to sit on a high stool while Karagirma buckled himself into the strange contraption. He touched a button. A low hum issued from the machine, and the dwarf was slowly hoisted up. When he was slightly above Bella's head, he halted the ascent. He pulled a lever then, and white light blazed all around them.

Karagirma picked up one of the instruments from the cabinet, which was easily within reach. It looked like some kind of telescope. He peered intently at Bella's head through the cylindrical object, his little fingers swiftly separating strands of Bella's hair to get a better look. KAY watched mesmerized. All the while, Karagirma chatted happily.

"Mr..." Bella began during a brief lull. She halted, embarrassed, "I am sorry, is that the right address? Mister or Doctor... or something,"

Karagirma chuckled his rich chuckle again. "Mister will do fine, Isabella." "Thank you. Mr. Growmore-"

"What?"

Bella squirmed in mortification.

"Oh, dear ... I didn't think... I..."

She hung her head as her words ran out, but Karagirma laughed, "It's quite okay, although I'd love to hear an explanation. How come you are calling me Growmore?"

Kay explained, since Bella was still red with embarrassment. Karagirma laughed again. "I am enchanted!" He exclaimed, "What an appropriate soubriquet."

"An appropriate what?" Kay and Bella asked at the same time. "A soubriquet. It means nickname."

"Oooohhh," went Kay.

Bella smirked. "That nailed you, my boy!"

"Well," Karagirma continued, "You may call me Growmore if my real name is unpronounceable. Who knows? I might even start writing that on the reverse side of my signboards."

Bella fairly twinkled at that.

"But what were you going to say, Bella?"

"I only wanted to ask how you began to ... grow things." Growmore smiled wryly.

''That's a really long story, I am afraid. But the short of it is that I was terribly, terribly unhappy about my height. I longed to be taller than I am, so I studied. I studied auxins and their effects on plants. I studied the thyroid gland. I studied everything I could set my eyes on about growth."

He shrugged philosophically, "Alas, I was quite unable to help myself, apart from a very full head of hair, and moustaches that are the envy of all my friends." He twirled the moustache with a flourish and smiled at the wide-eyed two.

"I haven't given up, of course. I never give up. Happily, though, all my experiments led to the acquisition of my present skills, and I have done this ever since. My wife is almost six feet tall, and my children are the tallest in their school. I have learnt to be happy with what GOD has given me. Life is good. And I still tinker with myself once in a while."

The two children spent a long moment just digesting it all. Growmore continued his examination of Bella’s head.

"But," Bella frowned, "the article about you said you make short people taller."

 "Well, that's true enough. Normal short people who have grown up, yes. Children who are dwarves, also yes. Dwarves like me above thirty... as I said, one still hopes."

"But why did you choose such an out-of-the-way place to situate your business?

On a mountain?" Kay queried. Growmore smiled at him.

"What other location could be more suitable for the kind of facility this is? And, anyway, people find me easily."

"Easily? We were searching for three days!"

"Really? I have an office in Jos. All you had to do was contact it, and you would have been brought here. You didn't come that way, I take it?"

"Nope," groaned Kay. "We did contact your office, but we were in a big hurry, so we got a map from them and decided to track you ourselves. Then we set up camp on the mountain, and walked and walked and walked!"

Growmore chuckled, "Good exercise never hurt anyone." He put away the telescope thing and rubbed his palms gleefully. "Well, Isabella, I have a good idea what the problem is now."

BELLA STARED at Growmore. 

"It’s not irreparable, I hope?" She asked anxiously.

"Nothing is that with Heaven’s benevolence. Still, we'll have to do a little tinkering in the lab. You see, the thing is, your hair root sheaths are empty."

“Her what?” Kay asked, drawing closer.

“Hair is grown in tiny holes called root sheaths. All the nutrients the hair needs is in those sheets, as well as the base of the hair follicle itself: the papilla of the hair, the bulb, the medulla-”

"I don’t understand any of this!" Wailed Bella.

Growmore paused. His mustaches twitched as he thought of a simpler way to explain it all to Bella. Kay cleared his throat.

"Er, Mr Growmore, Sir, could Hair root sheaths be like… maybe wells?" Growmore looked blank. "Like … wells?"

"Yes, you know … wells for water? Holes in the earth's surface with water in them; I am trying to explain it to my sister, you see."

Growmore twirled his mustaches slowly. His eyes blinked owlishly under his glasses.

"I see, I see; a cavity in the skin from which the hair draws life and thus grows… like a water well." He suddenly clapped his little hands together and laughed, “Hair wells! I like it! Kay, you are positively brilliant!”

Bella gaped at Kay. She couldn’t take in what she had just heard. And even Kay was too stunned to make a suitable comeback. He mumbled and haw-hawed. What would his teachers say if they could see him now? Growmore continued to grin at him.

"You have a constructive genius for words, Kay. You should do something with it.

Perhaps …write a book?"

Kay was still lost somewhere in the stratosphere. H.G. Growmore turned to Bella. He grew solemn, folded his arms across his chest, looking at her. Bella trembled.

“Tell me,” she whispered.

"Bella, I am afraid your hair wells are empty." "My hair wells are empty?" Bella quavered.

"Exactly. You see, in most cases of baldness, only the surface hair falls off. The follicles or the roots of the hair are usually still in there, embedded in the skin, only they are dormant, so new hair doesn’t grow out of them. All that needs be done then is the application of a stimulant, and the roots grow out again."

Bella was all ears. Growmore continued.

"But in your case, Isabella, the follicles didn't just break away from the surface hair; they slid clean out of your hair wells. You probably always pull your hair back very tight, right?"

"That's RIGHT!" Kay yelled in triumph. Bella scowled darkly at him.

"I imagined so," Growmore continued, "Don't get me wrong. I've seen lots of women spend a lifetime wearing their hair just like that, and nothing like this happened, but your case is probably that of weak follicles. So that instead of the roots hanging on and forcing the surface hair to break away, the roots let go and slide out of the well along with the surface hair."

"Horrible disloyal roots," muttered Bella, "But can nothing be done? I mean if I have no root hairs at all, how can my hair grow back?"

She was very close to tears. Growmore put a small hand on her shoulders and smiled.

"Which is why you are here. With GOD’s providence and Growmore’s aid, your hair will grow again!"

Kay cheered. Growmore laughed, and Bella smiled uncertainly. Growmore began to speak.

"Your hair wells all along your hairline are useless. The thing to do is to create new wells, with all the nutrients and follicles you need packed tight into them, then the hair will naturally grow."

"How can you do that?" Kay was bug-eyed.

"Good question. First, we must initiate the Anagen phase all over again, all around your hairline.”

Kay moved his lips. Growmore smiled at him.

“That means the first stage in hair regeneration, Kay. For that to happen, we'll need to formulate an agent. Something that will aggregate all the dead cells in the skin into super-strong hair follicles, then these new strands will burst out of the skin, forming new wells along the way."

"And they will be super strong so they won't slide out again, even if I wear my hair in a chignon!" Bella cried excitedly.

"Correct!" Enthused Growmore, "To the lab, to the lab!"

The machine lowered him, and the three people rushed away through a back door. They went througha lovely corridor filled with flowers and arrived at a steel door marked: LABORATORY. Growmore flung the door open, and they rushed inside.

The Laboratory was a long, wide room. It was painted a startling white, and the different equipment and instruments in it stood in stark contrast to the dazzling brilliance. Fluorescent tubes shone overhead. There were rows of red brick and steel counters all over. And on the counters, apparatuses of every shape, size, and material. Glass test tubes, metal tripod stands, round-bottom flasks, beakers.

The lab was peopled by eight or nine men and women in spotless, white smocks. They moved about or stood before bubbling test tubes filled with varicolored liquids. Most turned to smile at the new arrivals, then returned to work.

A tall young woman hurried over to them, smiling and carrying a little smock. She helped Growmore put this on. Growmore turned to Bella and Kay.

"Now, please excuse me." Then he trotted away with the woman, giving orders and instructions in a fast monologue.

The children noticed that there were raised structures of brick and metal all around the counters. They soon saw their use. Another of the lifting mechanisms lifted Growmore onto the structure.

He went to work at once, trotting up and down with his little legs, muttering incessantly to himself, mixing test tube after test tube of amber, green, and colorless liquids, muttering to himself all the while. His eyes behind the huge glasses blinked continuously. Occasionally, he would throw both short arms on top of his head and groan comically.

Brother and sister watched, fascinated. One hour later, he was back. In his hand was a test tube, a quarter-filled with a red liquid.

“Okay. Okay. It’s done, now to try it." "Why is it so small?"Bella asked.

“If my guess is right, this is going to create some really strong hair. And I don’t want to split your skull open," he turned to the lady with him, “we will need some hair gel to dilute this."

She hurried away. Growmore smiled at Bella.

“Don’t worry. This will work. I feel it! But, you see, I will have to apply it all over your head. If your hair is as weak as I imagine, then treating your hairline alone won’t solve much.

Other parts might start having the same problem in the future, so I’m going to apply this everywhere. Create a whole new head of hair for you.”

Bella gasped, “My head will be full of holes! The old ones and the new ones you will make."

"For a while, but pretty soon, the empty wells will close up, and it will be just the new ones left."

"How long will it take to act?" Kay enquired.

"If all is as it should, almost instantaneously. Let's see. Fifteen seconds for the liquid to penetrate the skin, forty-five seconds for it to aggregate the dead cells, ten seconds for the new hair to shoot up. One point ten minutes."

The lady arrived. Growmore took the plastic bottle full of gel and began to mix.

"There," he said finally, "Now you'll have to comb your hair so that the liquid has easy access to skin."

Bella was given a comb, and she began to comb. Her hair fell in soft waves to the floor. "Look at that!" She cried, "Loook!"

"I see, I see," murmured Growmore.

The room's occupants had by this time gathered around the diminutive green finger. "Kneel or squat." Growmore instructed, "So I can reach your hair."

Bella knelt obediently, then hunched her shoulders further. Growmore stepped to her side, took a deep breath, looked at his little watch, and began to apply the liquid. His little hands flew all over Bella's head, rubbing, paring the soft strands, and rubbing again. Everybody watched with bated breath.

"Does it burn?" Growmore cried. "No!" Bella cried back, "Just tickles!"

"FINISHED!" Yelled Growmore and stepped back. His assistant took the container from him. Growmore was looking intently at his watch, his lips moving as he semi-silently kept count with the ticking hands.

"NOW!" Growmore bellowed.

Nothing happened.

Everyone looked at the person next to him or her. Bella was confused. "What-"

Growmore groaned and slapped his small hands to his head. He removed his hands and looked at his watch again, muttering under his breath. Bella was opening her mouth to ask a question. Kay just watched the great man intently.

"My mistake!" Growmore shouted, "I was twenty-four seconds too fast. Now, let's see ... Eight seconds to go... Seven to go! ... Six!"

The whole room took up the chant.

"Five! ...Four! THREE! TWO! ONNEE!"

"Noooowwww!" roared Growmore, leaping high into the air on his small legs.

And then it happened. Bella's head seemed to explode into life. First, all along her hairline, then on her scalp proper. Little dots to begin with, appeared; they grew bigger, and wider, and suddenly the hair was growing. Shiny black, curling strands, each like a spider's web in silken toughness.

The room erupted into thunderous cheers, clapping, and stamping of feet. Hands rained down on the excited dwarf's back.

"We did it!" He laughed, hopping about," GOD be praised; we actually did it." "EUREKA!" Kay screamed, "Eureka!"

Bella jumped up and down, her new hair flying all over her face, “What does it mean?

Eureka! What does it mean?" She laughed wildly, not really caring for the answer. Ten minutes later, with things a trifle calmer, Growmore examined Bella's head.

"It's stopped growing," he announced, "Just like I thought. Now it will increase by about half an inch every week or so for the next 6 weeks. Perfect."

Bella gazed at her reflection in the full-length mirror attached to a part of the wall. Her hair came down in soft waves to just below her shoulders. Raven black it was, and shiny.

Growmore's lady assistant approached with a pair of scissors.

"Maybe you'd like me to trim it away from your eyes a bit?" she smiled, "Allow you to see properly?"

Bella shrank back.

"Oh no! My hairdresser will cut it into a glorious halo when I get home-" "Yikes!" Kay yelled suddenly, startling everyone.

"What's the matter with you?" Bella stormed.

Kay was doing a wriggling, uncomfortable dance as if ants were crawling all over him.

"Yikes! Yikes! Yiiikkeess!" He chanted.

"Stop it!” Bella glared at him, “What in the world-"

Kay was still wriggling, but managed to point at a wall clock behind Bella.

"Home! Look at the time! It's ten minutes to five. We are meeting Dike at six!

And it's a two-hour walk back to camp!" "Oh, cripes," Bella mumbled. "See? So … Yikes!"

Growmore stepped forward.

"Allow me. Usually I lengthen things, but just this once, for you two, I'll shorten something."

"What do you mean?" Kay showed his puzzlement.

"I am going to shorten your distance. Or rather shorten the time you'll need to reach your camp. We've got a few horses here. It will take only ten minutes to hitch them to a wagon," he turned to one of the smocked men, "Seyid, take care of it, please"

"Right away, Mr Karagirma!" Seyid was already on his way.

Growmore held out his hand to Kay. They shook hands solemnly. Growmore held out his hand to Bella. The twelve-year-old had tears in her eyes as she stepped past the hand, stooped, and hugged the short man.

"You are way the coolest person I ever met or didn’t meet, Mr Growmore. From now on, you are my Mr Cool," she said.

The room cheered, and Growmore bowed comically. "I have never been more honored," said he.

"You are also the biggest person I know, no matter what anyone says, because you have got by far the largest heart."

Growmore reached inside his jacket and retrieved a gold card. He handed it to Bella.

"My residential address. In Jos. Maybe one day you two could drop in and meet my family."

"Bet on it, Growmore," Bella smiled.

Seyid poked his head into the room from outside. "Horses and wagon ready. Front entrance."

"I'll escort you out," Growmore said and led the way.

THE WHOLE group followed Growmore as he led the way. They went through another large room filled with cages containing animals.

"I say, I think I just saw an Elephant!" Kay exclaimed, "Only it looks really queer-"

"Ah, yes, the favorite elephant of the Rajah of Petunia in India. He looks a little strange because he caught some sort of germ, and his nose shrank. Our Rajah is climbing every wall in his palace in dismay, so his wife had him sent here- the elephant, not the Rajah."

Everyone laughed.

"What a sad dog," Bella observed, looking into another cage.

"I agree. You see, his tail is about the size of a pea. Belongs to a Swiss banker who's losing sleep worrying about poor Spot. You have heard the saying ‘happy as a dog with two tails?’ Well, how about one that says ‘sad as a dog with no tail at all.’"

Growmore waved at the dog. It stared mournfully, tried to wag its short tail, then gave up with a little sad whine.

They exited the room and passed by the waiting room. A loud, manly, worried-sounding voice was speaking:

"...so I said to him, 'Just because you are European doesn't mean you have the monopoly on long noses. Anybody can grow a long nose, simplest thing in the world.

And he said 'bet,' and I said 'done!' So now, I, full-blooded African man, have until tomorrow to grow a nose longer than Pinocchio’s when he lies. If Karagirma can't work that miracle, I'm down the hole for one hundred and fifty thousand Naira."

Kay laughed, and Bella giggled. Growmore smiled and shook his head tolerantly. They emerged into the sun.

"Oh no! I completely forgot!" Bella clapped her cheeks with both hands, "Aren't we supposed to pay some money for my hair?"

"Forget it. First time free." Growmore smiled.

“Ohh, thanks,” Bella hesitated, then, her face a little red. “What is the matter?” Growmore asked, quite concerned.

“Oh, you have been so swell already, I didn’t want to ask for anything more,” Bella replied, head down. Only that made her eyes meet Growmore’s twinkling ones below.

“Ask away, Bella. It would be my pleasure to grant it if I can.” Bella held up her phone, “How about a photo, please?”

Growmore laughed and gave her a cheerful thumbs-up. Several selfies and group photos later, they were finally ready to leave.

They hugged Growmore one last time and then climbed atop the plain red wagon hitched to a couple of super-looking horses.

A driver sat in the driver's seat. He snapped the reins and called to the horses. The animals began to move. Bella and Kay waved goodbye, and the send-off group waved back; eight tall men and women, and one short man whose little arms waved vigorously.

Soon, the group vanished in the distance. The huge horses ate up the miles, and by the time they arrived at the first signboard, it was only 5:50 P.M.

"We'll get off here, please, Sir," Kay yelled above the whistle of the wind and thundering hooves.

The driver pulled on the reigns and the horses slowed and stopped, looking as fresh as they had at the start.

The children dismounted, shouting thanks and waving. Soon the animals were away once more, the driver waving through the dust kicked up by their great hooves. Bella took the 100th selfie that day.

She really liked how her new hair looked in pictures.

The children hurried to their campsite. Trouble waited.

Six hyenas sat in front of their tent, looking around with placid expressions. The large bump on the head of the first made recognition easier.

"Ooohh nnooo" wailed Isabella, "Not now!"

"Six times as brave," Kay whispered, "Six ghastly times as brave." A car's horn sounded faintly from below.

"Dike!" Bella shouted, "He's here! Let's go!"

"Seems to have forgotten our friends here for a second, haven't we? We can't leave without our things."

"What things? A few clothes, an old tent, some food, a gas cooker, and a lamp.

Let's go. Leave them all for some lucky village boy! Maybe even Tankwok.” Kay gaped at her.

"Are you truly serious?"

"Of course I am serious. Come on!" "Why, why, that's ... preposterous!" 

Bella picked up a stone and let it fly at Kay. He ducked and the missile landed with a crawwk on the first hyena's bump. It shrieked, flew into the air, landed, and began to do a war dance. Its friends growled fearsomely.

"There! You've gone and made me upset him." Bella accused, “What’s prepp- that word!"

"Preposterous! Mad! Absurd! Positively insane!" The car horn sounded again, long and plaintive.

"Right! It's preposterous! Now do come on already!" Bella grabbed Kay’s arm. Then she paused.

“Wait! One more thing.”

“I thought you were tearing to leave already.”

“Who would ever believe all these without some evidence. Selfie smile!”

Bella held up her phone and activated the front camera. The hyenas behind tried to look dignified when they saw themselves in the frame. Bella laughed and took a photo. Then she grabbed Kay again, and they raced away. The hyenas howled skyward in victory.

The children tore down the path downward. Ten minutes later, they were by the Mercedes. Dike hugged them both in turn, laughing. He looked at Bella's hair and laughed again.

"You found him then!"

"Did we ever!" Bella breathed.

"Come on. You can tell me more about it on the way. Where are your things?" "Gave them away," Kay muttered, "to hyenas.”

Bella waved a hand airily.

"Oh, they will serve someone else real well. Let's go; Kaduna is three hours away, that-a-way!"

They were soon in the warm car and speeding towards home. Bella told Dike all about the past three days, frequently helped along by Kay.

"Hmnn, his residential address, eh? I certainly could use that card, “Dike said thoughtfully at the end of their tale.

The two youngsters looked with interest at Dike. "How so, Dike?"

"Well, I have this cousin. Eighteen years old and about to write his university admission exams. He has two problems. One, he’s a little lax towards studying, and frequently depends on the work of his classmates to pass. The second problem, your Mr Growmore can certainly help with. The thing is, he has a really short neck. Now if it could somehow be lengthened just a few more inches..."